“Just breathe”.  This is what I need to say to myself when my thoughts start to become toxic.  What a day I experienced yesterday! I’ve realized that I spend an unimaginable about of time stressing over things that I personally can’t change.  Just reflecting on this today makes my head spin!

Why do I allow myself to take on so much, when realistically agreeing to do EVERYTHING just won’t work? I know exactly why this is…I’m a self-proclaimed people pleaser! I love spending time with my friends and loved ones.  I live for that! But, my sole problem arises when I spend so much time worrying about making everyone else happy, and don’t pay as much attention to my wants as much as I should.

I’m bringing this up, because this is a real problem that I currently face.  Not only am I growing tired of not being able to somehow add more hours into my day, but I want to learn to let go of all of the stress that comes along with overextending myself. I’ve allowed my stress of being unable to make others happy impact how I experienced my day with loved ones. Throughout my day, all I could think about was, what I could have done differently to decrease my current amount of stress? How much time do I have before I have to leave to make it back to go to the next place? I honestly couldn’t even enjoy myself.  I wasn’t living in the moment, and creating new memories.  I was physically present, but mentally and emotionally I was light years away from everyone else.  I won’t be able to get this time back, but I can realize my faults and correct them for future experiences.

What I need to do is learn how to say “no”.  If I am not 100 % sure if I can make this work, then I’ll have to be honest about that too.  It’s not fair that I sacrifice my in the moment experiences with feelings of stress.

I also have to be on top of stopping those forever lurking negative messages that find a way to do a cameo sometime throughout the day.  I need to ask myself: will worrying about this right now change how I am feeling? What are some realistic solutions to decreasing my current amount of stress?

Remember to just breathe.

What challenges do you face with being a people pleaser?  How do you say no?

(Image source: http://theberry.com)