Morning Cyber Family!
How often do you consider your values/standards when considering a mate? Is this a no negation type of situation?
Sometimes we can’t help who we’ve grown attached to. Maybe this person completely took us by surprise, and now we are left with a list of qualities that we believed we needed in a potential mate, but isn’t as necessary as once before.
I strongly believe that it’s important to have an idea of what you’re looking for. You need to be comfortable enough to know what you’d be willing to put up with. Even if you’re new to dating and haven’t figured out the specifics yet…you can eventually decide then what comprises you are willing to make for love.
I normally live a pretty structured life. What I mean is that I have an idea of how my weeks will look like. This helps keeps me grounded. Relationship wise, I could not be happier. The both of us had general standards that we used to make the decision of whether or not we’d even be interested in one another long-term. Initially, we had similar plans for the future, enjoyed one another’s company, and were and continue to provide support, love, and laughter for one another.
In honor of the Fix My Relationship series, a few people were able to provide me with some feedback on what it is they look for when considering entering into a new relationship.
Here’s the results from the mini interview I completed with those willing bodies.
In my mate, I am looking for someone who is…
*God fearing, secure (don’t want nobody that’s not confident in themselves), comfortable to be around, funny, intelligent, goal oriented, and attractive.
*1.Intelligent (and by that I really mean insightful ) 2. Beautiful 3. Moral 4. Loves black people and culture. The 4th things is important because I may make personal/ career sacrifices to help black folk, and I would need a significant other who was cool with that.
*God-fearing, family oriented, has good morals, a job/career (LoL), has goals set for himself, someone who has a sense of humor! Someone who is spontaneous! Someone that I know can help me grow as a Christian! Someone I can talk to and confide in…The list can go on and on lol!!
*I would like for my mate to be supportive, trusting and family oriented with an ambitious never settle attitude. I’m a guy who wants to build an empire.
*Believes in God, well-mannered, smart and intelligent, has goals, respectful, humorous, handsome, well-kept (dresses nice).
*Takes a while to figure out the right formula. After a lot of trial and error…I think I have a pretty good list. I look for someone who on the same page with education and career goals. I look for someone who is intrinsically motivated to succeed not just get by. I look for someone who treats me well and makes me laugh. Someone who I can bet self around. If I’m not comfortable enough for you to see me without mascara and wearing a headcap…you’re not the one lol! I’m looking for someone who I can have a conversation with, not just a physical relationship. Someone who has similar interests and family desires. Preferably someone who is physically fit. Race doesn’t matter.
How likely are you to stand by your ideal qualities in a mate?
Did your current mate match your pre-determined list?