Anxious Much?

I AM TIRED!

Not physically tired, but…mentally drained. I am such a Type A person and sometimes this can be exhausting. Who am I kidding lol, this can be MESSY. I love who I am. I just need to establish better boundaries for my self-care.

Having a Type A personality means that I have a tendency to remind myself of the time urgency with pretty much everything. This includes big tasks and even those smaller ones that don’t seem to matter. Funny because I know this about myself and I also forget this very fact about myself as well.

So, on the days where I feel a little extra winded and determined to complete my “forever list”, I don’t realize that I create this madness in my head until it’s too late. *slaps forehead*

Something that I have changed to counter this madness is to be intentional about quieting my mind. This process will look different for every person. But for me, I acknowledge my own weaknesses in this area. I’ve honestly tried different ways on becoming less anxious in my thoughts, and I have been successful…but this hasn’t lasted longer than maybe a few days. I’m not capable of taking on such a task on my own, so I ask God to help me here. I have to pray for peace of mind and the ability NOT to go crazy from my self-made issues.

What is your personality type and how has this impacted your level of stress?

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I refuse to be so overcome by my lists that I miss out on what’s presently more important. Like enjoying my family. Recently I’ve seen myself stop errands midway and just walk away, even for just a few hours or to pick them back up the next day. What an impact this has made on my sanity!

Trust me, this has been more difficult than it seems. For those of us who live by calendars, and to do lists…you know what taking a break means. Your mind may still not shut off. Even if you physically remove yourself from a task, you may still be talking to yourself about all that is left for you to do..and how you’re going to get it done.

Don’t get too hard on yourself because there is still hope!

Since I have temporarily transitioned from an office job to an at home job in caring for my little one, I’ve had to adjust my schedule completely from a set in stone calendar of responsibilities to allowing myself to be physically and emotionally present for myself and for my family. I’ve made the change because I’ve seen how challenging I’ve made things for myself with lists, and lists, and lists! Did I mention how unnecessary many of these were?!

I take comfort in meditating on reminders such as these:

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life” ? Matthew 6:25 & 27

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When I actually took a step back and allowed God to take control of my anxious mind and give me the opportunity to be present emotionally and physically for my family…I have truly been blessed! My days are so much lighter. I let go of things that I would normally hold onto for weeks. I smile more just because and I am genuinely happier. We all still have a ton of things to get done, so I’m not completely pushing off these responsibilities. What I AM doing is giving myself the opportunity to “take a break”, when before I would say this but this wasn’t actually the case. I want to be able to forgive myself for trying to do it all…ALL of the time!

My hope is that we all learn how to breathe a little easier and take in those moments that we used to ignore or may not even have noticed because we were knee-deep in our running tab of errands and things to get done before the days end. If you’re willing…allowing your prayers and your faith to shift your worries to be more manageable if this is something that you haven’t tried.

Until Next Time 🙂

XOXO ~Sharece

@befree2love

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What’s Your Love Language?

I loved every part of Gary Chapman’s book titled, The 5 Love Languages. A quick summary of this book is that it was written to help us identify how we give and receive love in our relationships. There are 5 main expressions of love that the book describes: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

5-love-languages (1)This isn’t my first time completing the quiz. A few years ago I was also curious to see where I ranked. The reason for the updated quiz now, is because I wanted to see how my love language changed after a few important life events: Marriage, a baby, relocating and job changes. I also wanted to take the test again to keep myself focused on growing my relationship as best as I can. With this information I can share it with my husband and he can do the same.

You DO NOT have to take this test in order to discover these qualities about yourself. Many of you already know the answers and have been applying what you know for as long as you can remember. Many of you are also in tune with your significant other and can make these types of changes without breaking a sweat! For those of you who are more of a visual person (guilty), this allows you the opportunity to refer back to your results if need be.

Each of us experiences life events such as career changes, health concerns, a change in finances, relationship status and/or family that impact how we relate to one another. But, what we need to do next is make necessary changes in order to meet our new levels of need. What you want, what you like, what you didn’t want or didn’t like has probably changed and that’s ok too.

Even without experiencing huge life events, what we need from others may very well change as you grow.

The most important thing that I’ve discovered after this quiz, was how our needs have changed. Yes, I knew life would be different. But, this was a reminder to me that my husband and I needed to be regroup in order to continue building our marital foundation.

Something that changed for me was my score for Words of Affirmation (expressing myself and hearing words like “I love you”). Previously this was important to me, but not a deal breaker. I was always shy and believed that people just knew how I felt. I liked hearing nice things but I was also not too hurt if I didn’t. Oh how things have changed!

I absolutely love hearing kind words. I love sharing how I feel with my husband and other loved ones. I’m learning the power of my words. The Bible describes how we each have the power to speak life into others as well as ourselves. I want to encourage and uplift my household and anyone who I may come into contact with. My relationships mean so much to me and I want to nurture them anyway that I can. Positive and clear communication is everything to me now. I’m still working on this though. But no ones perfect, right?

which-love-language-do-you-speakIf you’ve been going though some rough times in your relationships with your significant other, your kids, friends, etc. I would consider taking this quiz. It may help offer more insight into what you need from others and help you to pinpoint exactly what that may be, if you’re having trouble figuring it out. It may also help you better understand someone who you’ve placed in the “they’re just off” category. It’s possible that your view of those relationships may just change.

Take Care of Your Needs and Grow in Your Relationships! Click HERE for the link to the brief quiz to discover your love language!

With Love,

Sharece @befree2love

#LoveFreely

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Control Your Happiness

Who do you allow to create your happiness? Who has the power to control how you think about yourself?

If you haven’t seen Nappily Ever After, it truly is a must see. Many of us can relate on so many levels. It discussed growing up as a young African American female all the way to adulthood. Many of the messages are important for all of us to consider.

What I took away from this movie was the fact that many of us allow the perceptions of others control how genuine we are. How open we are to embracing ourselves versus trying to fit in.

The amount of energy spent on trying to impress others or negate their view of us can be exhausting. I’m also guilty of this. The crazy part about this way of thinking is most of the time I am limiting myself based on my own internal dialogue. I allow my behaviors to change due to my anticipation of how I may be perceived. Something I’m not proud of or want to pass on to my children.

How have you removed yourself from this way of thinking to ignore the pull to care about what others may feel or say?

muteWhat I have turned back to time and time again is my faith. My faith is something that others cannot take away from me, provides clarity and gives me strength to mute ALL negativity, whether internally or externally.  Even when I don’t feel like I can.

Proverbs 29:25 “If you are afraid of people it will trap you, but if you trust in the Lord, he will keep you safe”. NIRV

I’m learning not to place my value on what others think I should be doing. A slow process because my life has been spent worrying and anticipating judgement from others. Again…how exhausting! We’re not nice to ourselves. But that feeling doesn’t have to be permanent.

Seek what is most important to YOU! Focus on your well-being to quiet the voices that have caused you to question what you’re doing, how you choose to live, and what you put your faith into.

With Love,

Sharece @befree2love

 

 

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