What’s Your Love Language?

I loved every part of Gary Chapman’s book titled, The 5 Love Languages. A quick summary of this book is that it was written to help us identify how we give and receive love in our relationships. There are 5 main expressions of love that the book describes: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

5-love-languages (1)This isn’t my first time completing the quiz. A few years ago I was also curious to see where I ranked. The reason for the updated quiz now, is because I wanted to see how my love language changed after a few important life events: Marriage, a baby, relocating and job changes. I also wanted to take the test again to keep myself focused on growing my relationship as best as I can. With this information I can share it with my husband and he can do the same.

You DO NOT have to take this test in order to discover these qualities about yourself. Many of you already know the answers and have been applying what you know for as long as you can remember. Many of you are also in tune with your significant other and can make these types of changes without breaking a sweat! For those of you who are more of a visual person (guilty), this allows you the opportunity to refer back to your results if need be.

Each of us experiences life events such as career changes, health concerns, a change in finances, relationship status and/or family that impact how we relate to one another. But, what we need to do next is make necessary changes in order to meet our new levels of need. What you want, what you like, what you didn’t want or didn’t like has probably changed and that’s ok too.

Even without experiencing huge life events, what we need from others may very well change as you grow.

The most important thing that I’ve discovered after this quiz, was how our needs have changed. Yes, I knew life would be different. But, this was a reminder to me that my husband and I needed to be regroup in order to continue building our marital foundation.

Something that changed for me was my score for Words of Affirmation (expressing myself and hearing words like “I love you”). Previously this was important to me, but not a deal breaker. I was always shy and believed that people just knew how I felt. I liked hearing nice things but I was also not too hurt if I didn’t. Oh how things have changed!

I absolutely love hearing kind words. I love sharing how I feel with my husband and other loved ones. I’m learning the power of my words. The Bible describes how we each have the power to speak life into others as well as ourselves. I want to encourage and uplift my household and anyone who I may come into contact with. My relationships mean so much to me and I want to nurture them anyway that I can. Positive and clear communication is everything to me now. I’m still working on this though. But no ones perfect, right?

which-love-language-do-you-speakIf you’ve been going though some rough times in your relationships with your significant other, your kids, friends, etc. I would consider taking this quiz. It may help offer more insight into what you need from others and help you to pinpoint exactly what that may be, if you’re having trouble figuring it out. It may also help you better understand someone who you’ve placed in the “they’re just off” category. It’s possible that your view of those relationships may just change.

Take Care of Your Needs and Grow in Your Relationships! Click HERE for the link to the brief quiz to discover your love language!

With Love,

Sharece @befree2love

#LoveFreely

Image 1

Image 2

Advertisements

Inspiration//What’s Holding You Back From Change?

change

Annoyed with how someone has been mistreating you?  Not thrilled about your current status of your relationship? These are just a few of many complaints that I have heard, whether personally, or in conversations with others.  I felt compelled to address something that has been heavy on my mind, and hope that I can help provide some guidance to fellow complainers.

Listen, let me just share with you that I’ve complained a lot!  I know that I’m not alone, so don’t judge me too much. I know that communicating what upsets me comes naturally.  I’m sure my sister doesn’t mind haha! But then what?  I share this with others, and go on about my day only to revisit the same complaint the following day?  Sounds crazy…right?  Believe me I know!

Here is a book that has helped shake me out of the deja vu I was constantly experiencing:

Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

Originally, this book was assigned to me as a class assignment during my Graduate program. But, I’ve referred back to this book on several occasions.  Don’t get turned off by the description of the book being a “woman’s guide”.  I do not feel as though women are the only individuals who can benefit from this read. This book provides examples of how we complain about our life experiences, but often times do nothing to change the outcome if repeated in the future. In addition, Dance of Anger provides helpful feedback on how to break this cycle to make long-term changes in your interactions with others.

I’ve learned new ways of navigating through all of my complaining, to be able to brainstorm and attempt new solutions. Instead of dreading that conversation with someone (that normally goes sour before you’ve realized what’s happened), instead of feeling hopeless that your current situation won’t improve, try jotting down some possible scenarios to instantly reduce those troubles.  Sounds simple enough, but not many of us are able to think logically when experiencing feelings of anger, hurt, frustration or sadness.

Remember that you’re perfectly capable of impacting change in your life.  Just work on making these changes, INSTEAD of just complaining about them.

~XOXO

FreeBryd