Anxious Much?

October 17, 2018October 17, 2018 / Sharece Campbell, LMFT I Postpartum Doula / Leave a comment

I AM TIRED!

Not physically tired, but…mentally drained. I am such a Type A person and sometimes this can be exhausting. Who am I kidding lol, this can be MESSY. I love who I am. I just need to establish better boundaries for my self-care.

Having a Type A personality means that I have a tendency to remind myself of the time urgency with pretty much everything. This includes big tasks and even those smaller ones that don’t seem to matter. Funny because I know this about myself and I also forget this very fact about myself as well.

So, on the days where I feel a little extra winded and determined to complete my “forever list”, I don’t realize that I create this madness in my head until it’s too late. *slaps forehead*

Something that I have changed to counter this madness is to be intentional about quieting my mind. This process will look different for every person. But for me, I acknowledge my own weaknesses in this area. I’ve honestly tried different ways on becoming less anxious in my thoughts, and I have been successful…but this hasn’t lasted longer than maybe a few days. I’m not capable of taking on such a task on my own, so I ask God to help me here. I have to pray for peace of mind and the ability NOT to go crazy from my self-made issues.

What is your personality type and how has this impacted your level of stress?

I refuse to be so overcome by my lists that I miss out on what’s presently more important. Like enjoying my family. Recently I’ve seen myself stop errands midway and just walk away, even for just a few hours or to pick them back up the next day. What an impact this has made on my sanity!

Trust me, this has been more difficult than it seems. For those of us who live by calendars, and to do lists…you know what taking a break means. Your mind may still not shut off. Even if you physically remove yourself from a task, you may still be talking to yourself about all that is left for you to do..and how you’re going to get it done.

Don’t get too hard on yourself because there is still hope!

Since I have temporarily transitioned from an office job to an at home job in caring for my little one, I’ve had to adjust my schedule completely from a set in stone calendar of responsibilities to allowing myself to be physically and emotionally present for myself and for my family. I’ve made the change because I’ve seen how challenging I’ve made things for myself with lists, and lists, and lists! Did I mention how unnecessary many of these were?!

I take comfort in meditating on reminders such as these:

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life” ? Matthew 6:25 & 27

stressed-stress-relax

When I actually took a step back and allowed God to take control of my anxious mind and give me the opportunity to be present emotionally and physically for my family…I have truly been blessed! My days are so much lighter. I let go of things that I would normally hold onto for weeks. I smile more just because and I am genuinely happier. We all still have a ton of things to get done, so I’m not completely pushing off these responsibilities. What I AM doing is giving myself the opportunity to “take a break”, when before I would say this but this wasn’t actually the case. I want to be able to forgive myself for trying to do it all…ALL of the time!

My hope is that we all learn how to breathe a little easier and take in those moments that we used to ignore or may not even have noticed because we were knee-deep in our running tab of errands and things to get done before the days end. If you’re willing…allowing your prayers and your faith to shift your worries to be more manageable if this is something that you haven’t tried.

Until Next Time 🙂

XOXO ~Sharece

@befree2love

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Reflect…Reset…and Go

September 24, 2018September 24, 2018 / Sharece Campbell, LMFT I Postpartum Doula / 2 Comments

I’m back and I’ve missed you!! I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to get back to doing what I love. To be completely transparent I needed a break because I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. Yes, this is a normal part of life, but I admit that I didn’t exercise healthy ways of dealing with stress. My initial response has been to shut down or say “I’m fine”! I wanted more for myself, for my family and I needed to see immediate results.

I’ve spent a ton of time focusing on nurturing my faith in Jesus Christ. Something that I’ve always ranked last in my life, but now that has shifted. I’ve also prayed about seeking peace, health and direction for my future.

Basically, I’ve lost sight on what I wanted. One thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to write because I enjoy it. I’m also passionate about encouraging others and healing relationships, so writing is one way I can do that.

It’s been forever since I’ve written a post and so much has changed. Fast forward a few years: I’m married to an incredibly amazing man, we relocated to a bigger home from an apartment, and our lives changed for the better after we had our son. So, life came at me fast, but that’s ok. 🙂

I’m here to say hello and that I’ll be getting back to sharing stories, resources and encouragement with my online family!

I’m hoping this may reach someone who may have been struggling to get back into a routine that they’ve lost sight of or something that brings them joy. You’re probably never going to find the most “perfect” circumstances to begin again and another day will be lost if you don’t start today. It’s also perfectly reasonable to give yourself time to regroup and refresh when you feel the need to do so.

To be encouraged in faith, love & happiness, be sure to follow my blog!

Cheers to new beginnings!

Sharece
@befree2love

Image: https://covchurch.org/children/hello-friends/

Fix My Relationship Friday’s//Vol.1~Cont’d

September 11, 2015September 11, 2015 / Sharece Campbell, LMFT I Postpartum Doula / 3 Comments

Hey All!

Here is the second round of interviews from today’s Fix My Relationship series…

Click here to read the previous post/interviews, if you missed this earlier.

Interview#1

He relocated for college a few years before me, and I joined him. Higher education was necessary for him. He went to grad school. I also moved to another state to begin college. I was never unfaithful. But I was fearful that he would cheat on me, because we weren’t together. Trust was our biggest challenge. I knew in my heart that he was probably unfaithful, but I still ignored this gut feeling because I loved him so much. We did not physically see one another often, but we would always be communicating. We Skyped, texted, and spoke on the phone very frequently. We were able to visit one another once every 2 months if we were lucky.

Advice: Our relationship was built on a solid foundation of friendship, so that kept me going. If you truly care about the person, then do whatever it takes to make this work.

Interview #2 Shana (wanted a shout out lol)

We knew one another for a few months before entering into a long distance relationship. I went away for school briefly, while in this relationship. I didn’t know what I was doing. I came back home after the first semester away, because I missed him. I was in a bad mind-set at that time. I probably would have stayed away at school longer if I wasn’t dating him. I have never, and will never cheat on anyone. I’m in it for the long haul. I do what I can to try to make my relationships work, because this is what I want. I would rather end the relationship than cheat. The biggest challenge, was not seeing one another often. It is very hard to develop something more if you don’t see them.

You also need to know how they are in person, and this may be less likely to happen with long distance. Sex isn’t my top priority. I’m more concerned about learning how to resolve our issues. What happens if we disagree? This is something that we had to constantly work on. It was harder to talk on the phone about these disagreements. We spoke constantly via video chat, even though it kept freezing lol. We visited one another once that month, and were still getting to know each other.

Advice: Compromise!! Make sure they’re worth it (good convos, do we argue, willing to see one another). Google “advice” on long distance relationship for tips, to help make the most of the time you have with one another. Make it fun!! Video chatting is a must. People are afraid to take risks…but, step out on faith. New experiences make your life better. If you’re unhappy, then you need to move on, and that’s still ok. People are also afraid to be by themselves…and unfortunatley they jump into any relationship. Work on yourself when you have that time away from your significant other, until you are able to be together again.

Interview #3:

Long distance relationships are tough. When I first got into my relationship 13 years ago it was long distance. He was in college away and I was home. We knew it would be long distance to start and it actually made us stronger being away. When we would see one another we rarely argued since we were so happy to be spending time together. We usually saw each other once a month for the first year of our relationship. We have had moments where our relationship was long distance again but for shorter periods between 2-4 months. Neither of us were tempted to cheat during our long distance period and I think that is largely due to missing one another and having great times when we could be together.

I will say that long distance is very hard, but feasible and sometimes can make your relationship stronger. As they say absence makes the heart grow fonder! It can also harm the relationship because you get used to always having great moments that when you see one another daily the smaller arguments get frustrating because you think back to when you didn’t argue, because all your time was spent doing fun things.

Advice: Be clear about your expectations. Dating long distance also sets expectations that when you are long distance, when you do spend time together you tend to have sex more during that short visit that normally wouldn’t occur if spending time daily with one another. All in all it can work if both parties want it to.

*End of Interviews*

Thanks for joining me today! Doors are open for feedback. Would you date long distance? Have you ever experienced this? Would you try this again? Please share your success, struggles, never look back stories and teachable moments for others…Let’s talk about it!

~FreeBryd