Tag Archives: inspiration

Making Life Happen

Hey everyone!

If you had the opportunity to do anything that you wanted, something that made you absolutely happy…what would that be?

While speaking with Nosyjosie at Mind Jo Business, she helped inspire this topic by letting me know how she had to change her thinking. Please check out her blog if you haven’t already done so. Her ideas and amazing, and her posts are encouraging and funny.

It’s no secret that we all want to be happy. So, wouldn’t you think that there were more people making this happen on their own? Let me ask you this…What honestly motivates you? Is this an internal pull, or an external pull, both? Are you calling the shots, or is a family member, a boss, a significant other, or social media reminding you what you should be doing…right down to the very second you should be doing so?

For some people, you most likely won’t have to rack your brain when coming up with your answer. You’ve already made it your business to do exactly what your heart desires. I commend ya! You have the means and the dedication to follow through with these desires.

For a very long time I was undecided and without definite direction. I was down on myself big time! I would remind myself of my age and link that up to where I was “supposed” to be. I would remind myself what I “needed” to be doing, because I’ve been hearing this for all of my life. How I should look, how I should be communicating with others, which careers to pursue based on the highest amount of income.  I had to really sift through these messages to find what I was looking for (I share the details in a previous post here).  It is not the best feeling to go against the grain, but often times this is necessary.

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I also understand that your current life situation may not always allow you to live how you’d like to.  Even if you are unable to fullfill your life-long dream this very second, how about planning for the future? How will you get there? What do you need to do? Who do you need to speak with? How much money will you realistically need to save? These are questions that will hopefully encourage you to begin living your best, because YOU have made this decision.

Get it DONE! It’s never too late.

 

XOXO

~FreeBryd

 

 

Images:

https://ebenwatt.wordpress.com/

http://www.1966mag.com/

 

 

 

Learning About Yourself//Heart 2 Heart

I’ll start this post with a few questions for you…

What do you think you’re known for? What do you believe in? What are your goals? What are determined to do with your time?

Values: “A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgement of what is important in life” (Dictionary.com).

These beliefs are what drives our happiness.  I stumbled across a blog by Kate the other day, @The Importance Of Values. Unfortunately I did not save the link to her blog properly :-(. She describes her experiences with being unable to find true happiness with significant others, due to not yet discovering what she wanted in those relationships.

I want each of us to begin focusing on understanding our values. Maybe you’re unsure of what exactly this may be for you? Or maybe you’re still exploring what’s important to you.

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Whatever the case, I strongly encourage each of you to begin re-evaluating your lives to find the answers to the questions listed above.

How can we expect others to “just get it”‘ if we have yet to figure this out ourselves.  Life would make so much more sense if we began to understand our core values.

Maybe this is the reason for your previous relationships did not make it over that 6 month mark, or the reason why you’ve been feeling so unsettled/unfulfilled in your job/career.  I agree with Kate when she discussed how these feelings can impact your relationships with others…I’ve been there. But not only were my relationships with others suffering, I was also stuck in a cycle of negativity. It was difficult for me to find any positives.  I was living my day, but not enjoying much of it at all.

Denying your values for the sake of others can also put a wedge in your overall happiness and feelings of fulfillment.  How long will you be able to keep up appearances simply to keep the peace? What about what matters to you?

I wasn’t able to begin feeling better about myself, until I decided to truly understand what I wanted for myself long-term. What I was willing to do to see my goals become my reality.

I wanted to be able to speak with confidence when someone asked me a question about what I wanted out of life, and where I was headed. If you haven’t experienced this before, the feeling of not having a purpose, and having very little to look forward to can be absolutely draining. I was miserable without actually knowing the cause, and how to “fix” this.

I started to journal my thoughts more, and reach out to others whom I normally looked to for guidance.  I asked them similar questions like those listed in the beginning of this post.  Their answers were not a specific guide on what I needed to do, but provided me with encouragement on how I could begin answering these questions on my own.

Disclaimer: I know that everyone has their own values and beliefs. So, I’ll spare the specifics of my own to keep the peace on this blog :-). But, if you’ve been following my blog, you have a pretty clear idea on what my values are (self-care, family, strengthening our relationships, and education…just to name a few).

What are some questions you still need to figure out the answers to about understanding your values? Who helps to inspire you to discover these answers? 

Much Love,

FreeBryd

Image#1: http://www.thecrewcoach.com/

Image #2: http://www.twitterpowersystem.com/

Heart 2 Heart//Changing Your Attitude

Kicking off the Heart 2 Heart series with a lesson of love for yourself…change your attitude.

This speaks to me in such a huge way.  I have been somewhat stuck in a cycle of negativity.   I know…how awful!

I started to be short with loved ones, and I had no idea what was happening.  I of course was the last to realize that I was “stuck”.  When I woke up, I made it a point to do something different.  I wanted to change my attitude…in fact, I needed to do this.  I was only torturing myself, and this was beginning to weigh on my soul!

I know that I have been taking many of the things in my life for granted, and that is not how I want to live my life. I

I want to be happy, so why not make this happen?

I want to be successful with my goals, so why not take those first steps to change the direction I want to go?

I don’t want to complain all of the time, about things that I am not willing to change, so why not work on resolutions instead?

This is how I spent my day yesterday.  Yes, this is something that I have done in the past, but I allowed myself to get caught up again.  I wasn’t taking the time to replenish myself, and prioritize my own self-care. To be honest, this was an extremely refreshing day.  I realized that I was sabotaging my own happiness. What I needed was to check my own attitude.

*Sidebar* I always hear people saying that they will treat others how they are treated by those same people…I don’t even want to do this.  I really want to take charge of my own life, and not have anyone dictate my attitude.  Saying you want to be happy, and actually chosing to be are completely different….again, I’m realizing this now.  For such a long time, I knew what it would take for me to be happy, and alter my mood, but have been inconsistent with making this happen.

So simple, but yet I was making this much harder than it needed to be.

I really took the time to count my blessings, and appreciate where I was in my life.  As a result, my day was brighter.  I was less cranky and annoyed, and kept on smiling for just the thought of being in control of my own happiness.

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I am Thankful for…

  • My health
  • My boyfriend returning home safely after traveling for work for the last five weeks (for my own selfish reasons)
  • My family and my friends (for their love and continuous support. Thanks for sharing my blog with others, and encouraging me to be great!!)
  • My career which allows me to pursue my dream of helping mend relationships

What are you Thankful for?

~FreeBryd

Image Credit#1: Found on Etsy

Image Credit#2: Found on google images

Encouraging Thunder Award//Thank You!

encouraging-thunder-awardI was recently nominated for such an incredible award by YOUnfolded! What an honor to receive the Encouraging Thunder Award! I am new to blogging, and this truly means so much. I love that Nena has been such an inspiration.  We connected not to long ago, and she continues to show her support by reaching out when she can.  Her blog is one I often frequent, due to the overflow of recommendations on how to improve your overall health, and ways to encourage others to be their best!

Per the rules so graciously provided to me, I will:

  • Enjoy the fact that someone thinks I’m awesome 🙂
  • Discuss my purpose in blogging
  • Nominate a few of my fellow bloggers to participate in this fun way of giving thanks to others

Why I chose to blog:

For the past few years, I have had this tug in my heart.  I felt lost.  I did not feel 100% certain that I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  This was frighteining for me, because I kept feeling as though this decision shouldn’t be that hard. I have been trying to figure out ways on how to fill that void.

After some serious soul searching, and sleepless nights, I finally figured it out.  I knew that I wanted to one day open up my own business where I could follow my passion of helping others improve themselves and their relationships, with the help of my degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.  My goal is to create a family space, where I can help lead others on the path of their choice, and provide them with useful skills to help them overcome the obstacles to their happiness.

I’ve always had some pretty big ideas about planning for my future, but I was always so quick to talk myself out of pursuing them.  I was the Queen of negative messages, and I was surely lacking the confidence to begin achieving more for my life.

Starting this blog was my way of changing that.  I no longer wanted to think about the possibilities of starting a business. I needed to make this happen.  My blog was the first step on my list of ways to push me out of my comfort zone.  I had to begin believing in my talents. I needed a way to help me find my voice, and pursue the things that I love most!  I want to continue documenting my growth in this transformation, as well as help provide inspiration, and knowledge on improving our relationships!

To show my appreciation, I am nominating these (5) bloggers for the Encouraging Thunder Award.  I definitely follow some pretty awesome people.  I’ve taken such a strong liking to the wonderful world of blogging, and have grown to look forwad to connecting with all of you daily!

  1. Family Love Does More: Angie Mc has been nothing but amazing! Her words have always been so kind! She has goals similar to my own, in that she provides wonderful tips and advice on how to improve yourself, as well as your relationships.
  2. EGOTist: One of my very first followers (not even sure if you knew that lol).  Actor, singer, AND a writer! You will be able to connect to her posts, because her style of writing makes you fee as though you’ve know her for years!
  3. Myasthenia Gravis: So down to earth and hilarious! She has left some pretty thought provoking comments on my posts.  🙂
  4. Estimating Infinity: Absolutely love her poems! They’re unique, and will leave you searching through the rest of her brilliant pieces.
  5. Lynz Real Cooking: Check out her page for delicious recipes from the Middle East! She also has some pretty cool stories to share from her experiences.

I am thankful to have connected with so many wonderful people! I wish that I could send this award to everyone individually! Instead, I am sending positive vibes your way!

Until next time loves!

~XOXO

FreeBryd

Understanding Empathy

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Finding yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, or similar arguments with someone you love?

Our relationships can suffer because we minimize one anothers feelings.  Even if doing so was not our intention.  Many of us lack the ability to see another persons perspective.  Often times we are too focused on our own feelings and experiences, that we completely miss the mark.  We miss opportunities to connect with others, because we are being “selfish”, or at least coming across as such.

More and more, I’m noticing that much of what we communicate tends to get lost in translation.  We attack one another simply because we believe we were wronged in some way.  The worst part is that when these messages are misunderstood, many of us fail to gain clarification on the intended message.  As a result, maybe you spend the next day replaying that conversation in your head.  Man, have I been there one too many times! I admit that I have let my imagination run wild, without taking a moment to calm those nasty convos in my head.

Then, when I am able to confront the “issue”, I often learn that I was wrong.  So, realistically I’ve spent an unimaginable amount of time dwelling over things that could have been cleared up if I was able to understand the other’s interpretation without having my feelings block my judgement.

Psychotherapist Cindy Sigal, AMFT (Relationshipshttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/06/08/the-power-of-empathy-in-romantic-relationships-how-to-enhance-it/) has a wonderful perspective on how to improve empathy in our relationships.

What is EMPATHY?

Cindy discussed three different types: Cognitive (we don’t lose sight of our feelings).  Here we are able to recognize others feelings without experiencing these same feelings ourselves.

Emotional (sharing feelings with your partner or others). If your hurting, I’m hurting. If you’re angry, I’m angry too.

Compassionate ( a whole person response (changing our own behavior).  With this type, we realize what our partner may be experiencing, and actively alter our behavior to increase positive feelings.  For example, you may know that today wasn’t a good day for the other person.  Instead of adding onto their current stress load, you do something different.  You may say kind words, or pick up their favorite snack.

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In addition to understanding the different types of empathy, it will also be helpful to identifying the Road Blocks from experiencing empathy.

-Getting sucked into our own perspectives (how we are feeling vs our partner): From my experiences with others including what I’ve been through personally, is that many disputes/disagreements occur when you feel the other person isn’t listening, or feel as though they do not care.  Many of us become stuck with defending ourselves when communicating, because for some reason we feel attacked.  What can possibly be resolved if both of you aren’t even attempting to understand the others perspective?  You’d don’t have to agree with them, but this will help you grain clarity.  I’m definitely still a work in progress!

-Focusing on negatives: Can you imagine a lifetime full of complaints, with no motivation to make any positive changes? #exhausting. We all have our days of picking out the “wrongs”, but what about trying to clear a tiny circle off of that filthy mirror from time to time.  This will definitely keep your relationships “stuck” in the helpless zone. Try finding at least one positive for every 3 negatives.  This may be challenging if your thinking has already been shaped by constant negative messages, but your situation is not hopeless. Train yourself to think differently…it’s never too late to learn something new. 🙂

-Treat ourselves how we would treat others: I admit that am not the best example of this.  I allow others the ability to make mistakes, and offer them my best advice and encouraging words.  But, I don’t always allow myself these same luxuries.  Yes, I want to push myself, and learn from past experiences.  How will this be possible if I won’t even give myself the opportunity to reflect on these roadblocks?

I hope that today is a wonderful day for everyone, and we all are able to improve our Empathy!

What contributes to your overall satisfaction in your romantic relationships ( past, present, or future)?

-XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo #1:http://www.canstockphoto.com/

Photo #2: http://www.lifetimeloveaffair.com/

Inspiration//Changing Directions

Don’t lose focus of what’s important, because an obstacle gets in your way. This is only temporary. So, don’t allow temporary challenges to redirect everything you’ve set your mind to.

Regroup, and get it done!

IMG_0156 ~XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo credit: http://kickaction.ca/everyday-role-models/

Inspiration//Make Your Dreams Become Your Reality

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Have you ever felt extremely unproductive before?  Well, that has been the story of my life for the past few days! I am so guilty lol.  I’ve been binge watching a series on Hulu (Devious Maids)! So much drama…but it’s also extremely addicting! This week, I’ve failed to go to the gym or update my blog as often as I’d planned. :-/ Needless to say, I couldn’t help but to realize how easy it is to fall into a comfortable routine, and forget about achieving your dreams.

In the past, I have always dreamed about doing more with my life, but never felt any real sense of urgency when considering the response to this question.  I had absolutely no clue how to begin preparing a life for myself, where my overall level of happiness scored close to a 10 on a Likert scale.

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Should I go back to school? What should I major in? Where will I find a job? So many questions to consider!

Last month I wrote a post specifically to address these concerns (https://freebryd.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/what-i-want-to-do-with-the-rest-of-my-life/).  I became so motivated to take off running with enough energy to run a marathon! I’m still very excited to continue pursuing what I love most: writing, and helping others build healthy relationships.

What I am saying is that I don’t want to lose sight on what I’ve promised myself I’d accomplish within these next few years.  I do worry that I’ll become sucked into the swift current of life, without giving my all to what I’ve planned for myself.  But, I can’t let that happen.  I need to remind myself daily what it is that I want out of life.

At this time, I do not have a vision board that I can refer to like I’ve heard others speak about.  Now I can honestly say that I understand the importance of creating something to this effect.  During these past few days, it was so easy for me to say, “I’ll do it later”, because I did not have anything in place to continuously remind me of my aspirations.  I absolutely need this!

I have a really long-winded way of saying don’t give up.  Don’t give up on your plans, simply because “something comes up”.  It is alright to take a break…but try your best not to lose sight on the bigger picture. Luckily, I have family and friends in my corner who are able to snap me back into reality. But honestly, this is not their responsibility.

I have to want more for myself, and I do.  I just need to find ways to encourage me not to lose sight of this!

Here is what I plan to do:

  • Create a detailed vision board (so I have no questions about what I want my future to look like)
  • Speak about my goals to others (the more I discuss this, the more I will speak this into existence)
  • Make a list of small steps that will help me reach my goals (less overwhelming for me to target smaller tasks first)
  • Listen to the advice I would give to others (not to be so hard on myself…I will make mistakes and have days where I want to give up–>but get back on track asap)

These little gems will help to keep me on the right path. Take a break, go on vacation, binge watch your favorite tv series.  We all need days such as these to help us recharge.  Just remember that sooner or later you’ll need to get back to what you’ve started.

What do you use to help motivate and remind you to continue pursuing your dreams?

~XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo Credit #1: http://jaytheanalyst.com/

Photo Credit#2: http://weightlossandtraining.com/

Photo Credit #3: http://www.in-pharmatechnologist.com/

Woman 2 Women//Building Confidence

womenI am truly grateful for each of you for sharing your thoughts regarding the previous post on Woman 2 Women!  I love that so many of you share my concern with helping women build genuine, long-term friendships.  I was speaking about this with my sister as well, and she has brought something else to my attention.  We both agree that women may have been set up from the beginning!! Ridiculous right?

This may be a stretch, but think about something as simple as entering the women’s restroom…what have you noticed?  There are stalls that separate us from one another, in comparison to men’s restrooms where they normally share an open space when handling their business (sorry if I’ve already grossed some of you out).  I’m not saying that I want to do away with stalls at this point (because I’ve grown accustomed to expecting this), but I am just raising some questions about the messages that we have been receiving and sending.

In my previous post on Woman 2 Women, many commented on the fact that many women may lack confidence in themselves, therefore prompting even more insecurities.  These insecurities would most likely prevent any individual from socializing and taking the opportunity to build relationships with others. Personally speaking, if I do not feel secure in my finances, appearances, work status, or relationships, then this will pose as a major barrier to communicating honestly and openly with others.  I would spend my time focusing on whether or not the individual was criticizing me for one of the above mentioned reasons, rather than sharing this moment with them/doing more to get to know them.

Why was I ashamed?  Why was I embarrassed of having others inquire about my the status of my relationship, my finances, or comment on my weight?

What came to mind is that I lacked confidence in myself.  So, I wanted to dedicate this post to helping others find their strengths, improving their self-confidence…and running with it!

Here is what has worked for me with gaining confidence:

  • I stopped believing that I needed to compete with others
  • Wrote down my expectations and goals for myself
  • Figured out a step by step plan on how to meet my goals and expectations
  • Stopped complaining (well I cut down on this..lol) about not being where I thought I needed to be with my goals
  • Encouraging myself daily with positive messages
  • Started enjoying my experiences and being truly grateful for my family, friends, career, and health

Responses from others on how to build confidence:
1) Through prayer

2) Figuring out what you do best

3) Finding out what makes you different from anyone else, and embracing these differences.

I had every intention of linking peer-reviewed articles to this post on how to build confidence in women, but I’m having a difficult time discovering articles that don’t focus on women competing with men in the workforce!  Don’t get me wrong. There are tons of advice columns, blogs, and inspirational quotes on pinterest that discuss ways we can build confidence. But, I am also looking for research based studies that offer more insight into how to help others seriously facing challenges in this area address this issue.

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How do you gain confidence? Was this something that happened relatively quickly, or did you develop this confidence over time?

~XOXO
FreeBryd

Photo #1 credit: http://boujibuzz.com/category/in-the-news/

Photo #2 credit: http://www.quotesforthemind.com/

Inspiration//What’s Holding You Back From Change?

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Annoyed with how someone has been mistreating you?  Not thrilled about your current status of your relationship? These are just a few of many complaints that I have heard, whether personally, or in conversations with others.  I felt compelled to address something that has been heavy on my mind, and hope that I can help provide some guidance to fellow complainers.

Listen, let me just share with you that I’ve complained a lot!  I know that I’m not alone, so don’t judge me too much. I know that communicating what upsets me comes naturally.  I’m sure my sister doesn’t mind haha! But then what?  I share this with others, and go on about my day only to revisit the same complaint the following day?  Sounds crazy…right?  Believe me I know!

Here is a book that has helped shake me out of the deja vu I was constantly experiencing:

Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

Originally, this book was assigned to me as a class assignment during my Graduate program. But, I’ve referred back to this book on several occasions.  Don’t get turned off by the description of the book being a “woman’s guide”.  I do not feel as though women are the only individuals who can benefit from this read. This book provides examples of how we complain about our life experiences, but often times do nothing to change the outcome if repeated in the future. In addition, Dance of Anger provides helpful feedback on how to break this cycle to make long-term changes in your interactions with others.

I’ve learned new ways of navigating through all of my complaining, to be able to brainstorm and attempt new solutions. Instead of dreading that conversation with someone (that normally goes sour before you’ve realized what’s happened), instead of feeling hopeless that your current situation won’t improve, try jotting down some possible scenarios to instantly reduce those troubles.  Sounds simple enough, but not many of us are able to think logically when experiencing feelings of anger, hurt, frustration or sadness.

Remember that you’re perfectly capable of impacting change in your life.  Just work on making these changes, INSTEAD of just complaining about them.

~XOXO

FreeBryd

Daily Inspiration

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I’ve realized that for a long time, I was comfortable with just living.  That became super boring! I needed to switch things up, and push myself to try something new…even if it scared me!  My hope is that managing my time better will help make my week less chaotic, and provide me with the opportunity to grow and become closer to fulfilling my life’s purpose.

One new thing that I have started this week was to create a plan on what I wanted to do throughout the week.  My plan consisted of:

~Starting a meal plan (figuring out my meals as best as I could for the week from Breakfast down to my snacks): If not I’ll end up eating late since I’m throwing something together last minute.  I chose meals that included food options that i currently have at home.  If need be, I’ll stop by the grocery store to pick up the remaining items. I also get many ideas from pinterst if I want to try something new.

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~Work out at least 5 times this week: Being active vs complaining about my back fat…lol.

~Set aside time to write blog ideas: I want to write, I want to create my own place one day where I can help families improve their relationships.  So, I have to learn how to communicate more, and find new ways of reaching others who may not necessarily ask for help.

What are you going to do to break out of your comfort zone?