How REAL Are Your Relationships?

Hey All!

Let me just start by saying…I’ve missed the blog world. I won’t make excuses for being away for some time now. I wasn’t the greatest at balancing my new work schedule with everything else I had going on. I have some draft posts just waiting to be acknowledged, but haven’t been keeping up with writing. I’m really excited to shake the dust off.

Secondly, this topic was inspired by my home skillet Chanelle. She’s one of my besties, whose been in my life for over 10 years now. ūüôā¬†She’s one of the same friends who I mentioned starting the GroupMe app with…where we can keep track of one another’s progress towards our fitness goals. That has picked up lately as well. I was talked into completing a 21 day clean eating challenge. No worries, because it will be ending right in time for Thanksgiving lol.

Any who, as my friends and I were chatting, Chanelle asked my friend Shana and I a series of questions. She wanted to know how we perceived her.  Specifically, what were some things we may have noticed that she may not be aware of.

Talk about being caught off guard haha. I was happy that she felt that she could easily come to me with such a loaded question. Providing feedback to her wasn’t extremely challenging, because we have a healthy relationship.

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How well do others know you? Are others comfortable enough to share openly and genuinely with you? 

This may be a no brainer for some, and can be extremely important in assessing the quality of your relationships with others.

I was asked to share some of my personal thoughts about her as a person. This is something that I honestly don’t find myself doing enough of. Not that I have a laundry list of negative things about anyone that I keep to myself. But, I’ve realized that I probably don’t share those “personal” thoughts and feelings as often as I’d like to.

For me, I find having honest conversations about how I perceive the other person as a benefit. I’m honored that my perspective can¬†mean so much to so many people. I hope that others feel the same way when considering me. I also understand how difficult having tough conversations with others can be. ¬†I still cringe a bit when having to “confront” the elephant in the room. ¬†But, how else can we move forward? What helps for me is to just come right out and say it. ¬†The more I wait and analyze exactly how I want to word things, the more nervous and uncomfortable I become.

I’ve also realized that I put so much thought into many of these conversations, when the other person doesn’t feel the same sense of awkwardness that I’ve been experiencing. ¬†It was mostly in my head…!

I truly appreciate the relationships I share with so many wonderful people.  We inspire and challenge one another daily.  I prefer to keep it real, and not just dance around the difficult issues.

If you don’t feel completely comfortable with sharing honestly with friends and family, then what is getting in the way of knocking down these barriers?

~FreeBryd

Images: http://arts.mq.edu.au/; http://blogs.baruch.cuny.edu/

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Law of Attraction

So, I have so much to be thankful for…I’m all smiles!

In the past, I have set goals for myself regarding my career, family, etc. I specifically remember my boyfriend and I having a conversation on this very topic.  He challenged me to write down what I was looking for career wise.  I knew what I wanted, and made the choice that day to create my mini version of a vision board.

My career goals were:

  • I would like to continue helping families in the mental health field (improve, and strengthen their relationships with others)
  • Advance in my career (first step: become a supervisor).
  • Balance my work week with being in the office as well as meet with families within the community (So, I get to plan and organize, as well as engage with others)
  • Have a flexible work schedule
  • Not work any weekends or Holidays

I feel extremely blessed to say with confidence that I have now been working at a new position, that meets every one of my goals that I’ve set for myself career wise at this time. ¬†I didn’t believe that I would find such a position within the first year of writing these goals down initially. ¬†The most exciting thing about this is the fact that I believed in myself. ¬†I knew what I wanted, and went after this! I just didn’t know that I was doing everything I needed to do to help me reach my goals. Now I have that confirmation!

One of my besties, Chanelle, put me onto this Youtube video (Mastering The Art of Attraction).  This video discussed how we each have the ability to reach our full potential. But, doing so all starts with how you are talking to yourself.  You will attract like-minded people, you will attract the lack of money that you continue to complain about, and you will attract that job that you believe in your heart is right for you.

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Ultimately, you have a choice in how you will respond to what’s happened to you.

This isn’t a secret. ¬†However, truly give this some thought…

My advice, is not to settle¬†for what you do not ¬†believe in. ¬†If you’re unhappy, then change your thinking. Maybe even consider changing the people you’ve chosen to associate with. ¬†I know everyone in my corner speaks positively as often as possible. ¬†They push me to go after the more difficult decisions, and challenge me to obtain greater for myself. ¬†Also, write down what it is that you want for yourself. ¬†The more you do this, and communite these goals to others, the more you will continue to hold yourself accountable to them as well.

It feels incredible to get what you want!

What goals have you set for yourself, and what are you doing to make sure you reach them?

Much Love,

~FreeBryd

Upgrading Your Support System

What are some of the ways that you take care of yourself?

I spend a lot of time thinking of new ways that I can improve my overall well-being. I read new books (mystery and suspense appear to be my new thing), blog, listen to comforting music, and planning mini getaways.

Out of all of these options, nothing is more important to me than spending time with the significant people in my life.

I absolutely love being with my support team!

IMG_3930They give me life, and they help me to recharge. I’ve realized that being around others helps me to relax. ¬†If I’m having a not so great day, I actually sit and reflect on how to make things better, weigh the outcomes of any pros and cons of my day.

But!

What works best for me is being able to communicate with others. Not just anyone, but someone who I can honestly trust with my feelings. Someone whose perspective means the world to me.  I enjoy being able to bounce ideas off of, and just vent to these listening ears.

I’m fortunate enough to have a huge group of people who will always have my best interests in mind. Being around these individuals helps me to reduce any unnecessary stress, make me laugh, and help to get my mind off of the latest “issue”.

Those of you who may be struggling to find energy, find yourself becoming more irritable and unhappy, and have tried different ways to recharge, with very little success…try reaching out to friends and family. They may not even know how much of a positive influence they can be in your life. You may not even know how helpful these individuals can be.

How do you make new friends?

While away in Mexico for my recent vacation, I pushed myself to meet new people. Instead of waiting for someone to “notice” me, I initiated many of the conversations with others. For the 7 days that I was in Mexico, I figured that I’d make the most of the trip, since this was basically my home away from home. I participated in activities that I would normally shy away from (pool volleyball is an example of this). The sound of the activity didn’t necessarily appeal to me, but I gave it a try anyway.

These structured activities were a great way for many new people to meet. My team obviously had a shared goal in mind, and we definitely worked hard with achieving this by any means (quite successfully might I add).  As I discussed in my previous post (My Time Away In Mexico), I was able to gain new friendships. I plan on keeping in contact with each of them!

You can also try to:

  • Join a gym to find a group of people who share similar interests (different classes: zumba, cycling, etc).
  • Have a potluck at your house (I plan on doing so this week). Each person can bring a friend in addition to a dish.
  • Spend time with co-workers (get to know them outside of work? Maybe you’ll have more in common than you think).

Don’t have any close family or friends whom you would consider confiding in? Take it outside then, and meet some new faces!! Many of us enjoy blogging, and even share some of the most intimate details of our lives with others within the blogging community. I think this is great! I absolutely love blogging, and look forward to continue meeting such wonderful people.

Group of young friends chatting outside

How about using that same confidence used via Internet connection, and use that in our everyday lives as well??

Share a little bit more with others, be open to trying new things, and starting conversations with a new face. I’m hoping that you’ll be able to make some healthy, long-lasting relationships with new people. Your health¬†just might depend on it!

But first, you’ll have to be willing to put in the work. I personally don’t thrive on relationships where I don’t feel as though I’m benefiting from. I want to share details about my life, and want others to be willing to do the same. So, be sure to have an idea in mind about what type of relationships you’d like to have with others.

How do you make new friends? What are you looking for in a friend?

~FreeBryd

Image #1: http://kushsrivastava.com/

Image #2: http://www.collegeadmissionsbible.com/