Encouraging Thunder Award//Thank You!

encouraging-thunder-awardI was recently nominated for such an incredible award by YOUnfolded! What an honor to receive the Encouraging Thunder Award! I am new to blogging, and this truly means so much. I love that Nena has been such an inspiration.  We connected not to long ago, and she continues to show her support by reaching out when she can.  Her blog is one I often frequent, due to the overflow of recommendations on how to improve your overall health, and ways to encourage others to be their best!

Per the rules so graciously provided to me, I will:

  • Enjoy the fact that someone thinks I’m awesome 🙂
  • Discuss my purpose in blogging
  • Nominate a few of my fellow bloggers to participate in this fun way of giving thanks to others

Why I chose to blog:

For the past few years, I have had this tug in my heart.  I felt lost.  I did not feel 100% certain that I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  This was frighteining for me, because I kept feeling as though this decision shouldn’t be that hard. I have been trying to figure out ways on how to fill that void.

After some serious soul searching, and sleepless nights, I finally figured it out.  I knew that I wanted to one day open up my own business where I could follow my passion of helping others improve themselves and their relationships, with the help of my degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.  My goal is to create a family space, where I can help lead others on the path of their choice, and provide them with useful skills to help them overcome the obstacles to their happiness.

I’ve always had some pretty big ideas about planning for my future, but I was always so quick to talk myself out of pursuing them.  I was the Queen of negative messages, and I was surely lacking the confidence to begin achieving more for my life.

Starting this blog was my way of changing that.  I no longer wanted to think about the possibilities of starting a business. I needed to make this happen.  My blog was the first step on my list of ways to push me out of my comfort zone.  I had to begin believing in my talents. I needed a way to help me find my voice, and pursue the things that I love most!  I want to continue documenting my growth in this transformation, as well as help provide inspiration, and knowledge on improving our relationships!

To show my appreciation, I am nominating these (5) bloggers for the Encouraging Thunder Award.  I definitely follow some pretty awesome people.  I’ve taken such a strong liking to the wonderful world of blogging, and have grown to look forwad to connecting with all of you daily!

  1. Family Love Does More: Angie Mc has been nothing but amazing! Her words have always been so kind! She has goals similar to my own, in that she provides wonderful tips and advice on how to improve yourself, as well as your relationships.
  2. EGOTist: One of my very first followers (not even sure if you knew that lol).  Actor, singer, AND a writer! You will be able to connect to her posts, because her style of writing makes you fee as though you’ve know her for years!
  3. Myasthenia Gravis: So down to earth and hilarious! She has left some pretty thought provoking comments on my posts.  🙂
  4. Estimating Infinity: Absolutely love her poems! They’re unique, and will leave you searching through the rest of her brilliant pieces.
  5. Lynz Real Cooking: Check out her page for delicious recipes from the Middle East! She also has some pretty cool stories to share from her experiences.

I am thankful to have connected with so many wonderful people! I wish that I could send this award to everyone individually! Instead, I am sending positive vibes your way!

Until next time loves!

~XOXO

FreeBryd

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Understanding Empathy

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Finding yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, or similar arguments with someone you love?

Our relationships can suffer because we minimize one anothers feelings.  Even if doing so was not our intention.  Many of us lack the ability to see another persons perspective.  Often times we are too focused on our own feelings and experiences, that we completely miss the mark.  We miss opportunities to connect with others, because we are being “selfish”, or at least coming across as such.

More and more, I’m noticing that much of what we communicate tends to get lost in translation.  We attack one another simply because we believe we were wronged in some way.  The worst part is that when these messages are misunderstood, many of us fail to gain clarification on the intended message.  As a result, maybe you spend the next day replaying that conversation in your head.  Man, have I been there one too many times! I admit that I have let my imagination run wild, without taking a moment to calm those nasty convos in my head.

Then, when I am able to confront the “issue”, I often learn that I was wrong.  So, realistically I’ve spent an unimaginable amount of time dwelling over things that could have been cleared up if I was able to understand the other’s interpretation without having my feelings block my judgement.

Psychotherapist Cindy Sigal, AMFT (Relationshipshttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/06/08/the-power-of-empathy-in-romantic-relationships-how-to-enhance-it/) has a wonderful perspective on how to improve empathy in our relationships.

What is EMPATHY?

Cindy discussed three different types: Cognitive (we don’t lose sight of our feelings).  Here we are able to recognize others feelings without experiencing these same feelings ourselves.

Emotional (sharing feelings with your partner or others). If your hurting, I’m hurting. If you’re angry, I’m angry too.

Compassionate ( a whole person response (changing our own behavior).  With this type, we realize what our partner may be experiencing, and actively alter our behavior to increase positive feelings.  For example, you may know that today wasn’t a good day for the other person.  Instead of adding onto their current stress load, you do something different.  You may say kind words, or pick up their favorite snack.

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In addition to understanding the different types of empathy, it will also be helpful to identifying the Road Blocks from experiencing empathy.

-Getting sucked into our own perspectives (how we are feeling vs our partner): From my experiences with others including what I’ve been through personally, is that many disputes/disagreements occur when you feel the other person isn’t listening, or feel as though they do not care.  Many of us become stuck with defending ourselves when communicating, because for some reason we feel attacked.  What can possibly be resolved if both of you aren’t even attempting to understand the others perspective?  You’d don’t have to agree with them, but this will help you grain clarity.  I’m definitely still a work in progress!

-Focusing on negatives: Can you imagine a lifetime full of complaints, with no motivation to make any positive changes? #exhausting. We all have our days of picking out the “wrongs”, but what about trying to clear a tiny circle off of that filthy mirror from time to time.  This will definitely keep your relationships “stuck” in the helpless zone. Try finding at least one positive for every 3 negatives.  This may be challenging if your thinking has already been shaped by constant negative messages, but your situation is not hopeless. Train yourself to think differently…it’s never too late to learn something new. 🙂

-Treat ourselves how we would treat others: I admit that am not the best example of this.  I allow others the ability to make mistakes, and offer them my best advice and encouraging words.  But, I don’t always allow myself these same luxuries.  Yes, I want to push myself, and learn from past experiences.  How will this be possible if I won’t even give myself the opportunity to reflect on these roadblocks?

I hope that today is a wonderful day for everyone, and we all are able to improve our Empathy!

What contributes to your overall satisfaction in your romantic relationships ( past, present, or future)?

-XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo #1:http://www.canstockphoto.com/

Photo #2: http://www.lifetimeloveaffair.com/

Inspiration//Changing Directions

Don’t lose focus of what’s important, because an obstacle gets in your way. This is only temporary. So, don’t allow temporary challenges to redirect everything you’ve set your mind to.

Regroup, and get it done!

IMG_0156 ~XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo credit: http://kickaction.ca/everyday-role-models/