Tag Archives: communication

How REAL Are Your Relationships?

Hey All!

Let me just start by saying…I’ve missed the blog world. I won’t make excuses for being away for some time now. I wasn’t the greatest at balancing my new work schedule with everything else I had going on. I have some draft posts just waiting to be acknowledged, but haven’t been keeping up with writing. I’m really excited to shake the dust off.

Secondly, this topic was inspired by my home skillet Chanelle. She’s one of my besties, whose been in my life for over 10 years now. 🙂 She’s one of the same friends who I mentioned starting the GroupMe app with…where we can keep track of one another’s progress towards our fitness goals. That has picked up lately as well. I was talked into completing a 21 day clean eating challenge. No worries, because it will be ending right in time for Thanksgiving lol.

Any who, as my friends and I were chatting, Chanelle asked my friend Shana and I a series of questions. She wanted to know how we perceived her.  Specifically, what were some things we may have noticed that she may not be aware of.

Talk about being caught off guard haha. I was happy that she felt that she could easily come to me with such a loaded question. Providing feedback to her wasn’t extremely challenging, because we have a healthy relationship.

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How well do others know you? Are others comfortable enough to share openly and genuinely with you? 

This may be a no brainer for some, and can be extremely important in assessing the quality of your relationships with others.

I was asked to share some of my personal thoughts about her as a person. This is something that I honestly don’t find myself doing enough of. Not that I have a laundry list of negative things about anyone that I keep to myself. But, I’ve realized that I probably don’t share those “personal” thoughts and feelings as often as I’d like to.

For me, I find having honest conversations about how I perceive the other person as a benefit. I’m honored that my perspective can mean so much to so many people. I hope that others feel the same way when considering me. I also understand how difficult having tough conversations with others can be.  I still cringe a bit when having to “confront” the elephant in the room.  But, how else can we move forward? What helps for me is to just come right out and say it.  The more I wait and analyze exactly how I want to word things, the more nervous and uncomfortable I become.

I’ve also realized that I put so much thought into many of these conversations, when the other person doesn’t feel the same sense of awkwardness that I’ve been experiencing.  It was mostly in my head…!

I truly appreciate the relationships I share with so many wonderful people.  We inspire and challenge one another daily.  I prefer to keep it real, and not just dance around the difficult issues.

If you don’t feel completely comfortable with sharing honestly with friends and family, then what is getting in the way of knocking down these barriers?

~FreeBryd

Images: http://arts.mq.edu.au/; http://blogs.baruch.cuny.edu/

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Connect With Me//Over a Cup of Coffee

Hey Blog Family,

We had such a great turnout for the last Mix and Mingle…so, it’s time for another one!  Let’s take a moment to say hi to someone new, and possibly gain a long-term friend!

Let’s pretend that we are sharing a cup of coffee (or some other fancy drink if coffee isn’t your thing).  Over this cup of coffee, we will share details about our week with one another.  This idea was inspired by the Writing 101 course that I’ve signed up for via WordPress.

As always, thanks for joining! Now, let’s grab a cup of coffee!

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If we were drinking coffee right now, I’d let you know that I’ve recently wrote an Open Letter To My Father.  I’ve never been so transparent before with him.  I was able to share most of my thoughts and feelings that I’ve been keeping safe since childhood.  My father and I have grown much closer over the last couple of years, so I felt that we were in a better place to be able to communicate more freely and open.  In response to the letter, he let me know that I wasn’t actually a headache for him…lol. He shared some personal feelings of his own from these earlier experiences. Nothing but smiles from me! I am even trying to plan for a family reunion…something we’ve never done before with my father’s side of the family.

If we were drinking coffee right now, I’d let you know that in about a week, I will be traveling to Mexico for 7 days!! I am excited for the well deserved vacation, the food, the activities, and dancing!  I’ve been trying my best to eat healthier, and become more physically active.  I do worry that my healthy lifestyle will suffer…just a smidge, because I’ll be in such an exotic place.  Anyone who knows me, understands how serious I am about my food.  I’ll plan  to do some outside activities to keep my heart rate up…in exchange for eating any and everything, and relaxing on most days.

If we were drinking coffee right now, I’d let you know that while I’m away in Mexico, I will miss blogging as often as I’d like.  I’ve honestly grown to look forward to connecting with all of you.  So many opportunities to meet such wonderful people, and become inspired by your posts! But, I’ll be happy to update all of you on how awesome this trip has been when I return!

In recognition of today’s Mix and Mingle, I ask that you do the following:

  1. When you share an update, begin with “If I were drinking coffee right now”.
  2. Leave a link to your blog so others can check out your space.
  3. Want to share this post with others? Be sure to pingback and reblog this post.

*Share as little or as much as you’d like*

Happy Sharing!

~FreeBryd

Image #1:https://www.contentwatch.com/

Image#2: http://www.firehousejavacuisine.com/

Building Relationships//Research Results

In an earlier post, I wrote about finding ways that women could improve their relationships with one another.  If you missed that post, click here to read more about it.

In a nutshell, I’ve realized that it is not often that women can come together to mingle, without the sole purpose being on family.  For example, men typically use sports as a way to connect.  Usually they can meet at a number of local spots, and bond over this experience together…I want the same for women.

Today, I wanted to post the results for those of you who are interested in finding new ways of networking with other women.

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Here are the questions that I posted earlier to help me obtain this information:

  1. What is currently available to women where they can go to mingle and network (places, activities to complete together)?
  2. Of these places, what is the primary focus (family/relationship/work oriented, etc.)?
  3. What would you like to see women do together, if there are currently no places that meet your needs/expectations on networking with other women?

From Blogger: Ladycamecu

1).Places women tend to go to socialize tend to exclude men like shopping or are centered around things that they are doing with other moms or something like play dates. In my experience I tend to go wine and design classes, dinner dates, find fun races (adventure races) or cheap groupon activities that are new to do together like bowling, spa dates and the like.
2). We talk about small talk to get it out of the way but then we like to focus on each other’s goals, future plans, fun, and how to make those moves. We also like to talk about health and how to change it and relationships are a biggie as I am a counselor but we are in our own right so I’m sure that is a big one for all of us).
3). I would like to see women do more physical activity together, I do not see that as much as I should. I see some walking, but there are other activities that can be fun such as ropes courses, team sports (even casually), mental games like escape houses, photography classes (confidence building) or pole fitness (fun, fitness, and confidence building) etc…

From Blogger: Sammy

1 and 2- the spa, nail shop, beauty salon, SEPHORA!!! I can only think of places for grooming.
3-I’m thinking these places are great for women. But I usually am flying solo or hanging with my friends. These are not really places that women go for socializing with strangers. If these places had lady’s special or nights, they may draw in larger quantities of women and this may result in socializing among women.

From Blogger: Nena

1)I started a Ladies Night that we do each month with some close lady friends of mine. To give you an idea we have:

~Gone to a local restaurant that offered a ladies night deal
~Done a Paint Night where we go to a local restaurant or bar to do some guided painting:)
~Celebrated birthdays at one of our homes and made high-heeled cupcakes we saw on Pinterest and played board games

2) We usually like to just have some fun together since we rarely hang out with just the women. We use it as our time to just relax and get away from the regular routine.

3) I agree with ladycamecu about having more physical activities to do together…for women only. Like having a Ladies Mud Run. Dance classes (like belly dancing) and in the continuing education seminars for my professions.

From Blogger: Daisy

My friends and I did plenty of the typical activities, pedicures, shopping, bars, and restaurants. We talked about going to an art class but it never worked out with our schedules. As I’ve tried to transition into a more active lifestyle and make some changes I try to plan more outdoor activities like hiking or even just a walk. I’d like to try some cooking classes and more active activities like belly dancing. Fun activities that help with my change to a healthier lifestyle.

From Blogger: EGOTist

  1. I’ve been to brunches, game nights, writing sessions, birthday parties, and toy and make-up parties. I feel like most of the networking and hang-out sessions I’ve been to have been organized by women and targeted exclusively to them. Meet-Up is a great way to connect and I’ve been to some interesting events through them. I also find that salons (hair and nail) and waiting rooms are great places to have some amazing discussions. Happy hours are also great places to strike up conversations with other women.
  2. I think the focus depends on where you are and who you’re with. Conversations I have are usually very fluid in their topics especially when you have a mix of women from different backgrounds.
  3. I always like to see more work/business related networking events and I’d like to see more mentoring opportunities and open discussions about sexual and mental health.

Recently, my friends and I have been trying to meet up at least twice per month to have a ladies night out.  Nothing is off the table…lol.  Later this week, I already have plans to meet up with some lady friends for dinner, and to catch up on life.  I am really looking forward to this night! I have also been meaning to start a book club, as well as a bi-weekly potluck, where we can alternate whose house we will be hosting at.

If you have any ideas that could help add to this current list (many ideas gained from other interviewees were already on this list, please provide some feedback for yours truly! 🙂

~FreeBryd

Early Bird Special!!//Fix My Relationship Friday

Up Next on Be Free 2 Love

tumblr_lyzjhzaz5q1robbgco1_500So, tomorrow begins the Fix My Relationship #FixIt series on my blog. I have the results of the interviews that I’ve conducted on Long Distance Relationships.  I will share this info with all of you tomorrow.  🙂

While you’re waiting patiently for the results, I would love to hear from you too!  What have you learned from your experiences with dating long distance…or didn’t learn?!

Please leave a comment on the Relationships page, respond to this post, or email me at freebryd101@gmail.com, to join in on the fun! Let me know your thoughts are on the following questions, and we’ll discuss this tomorrow.

Here are the questions that I have asked the interviewees:

  1. Have you ever been involved in a long distance relationship? If yes, see the questions below.  If no, answer each question as if you were ever in a long distance relationship.
  2. How did you enter into the long distance relationship? (Did u know up front it would be long distance)?
  3. Were you more apt to cheat because of the distance?
  4. What were the biggest challenge(s) with dating long distance?
  5. How often did you spend time together?
  6. What would your advice be for others considering, or are currently dating long distance?

See ya tomorrow for #FixIt Fridays, to see what the interviewees had to say!!

~FreeBryd

You can check out my blog schedule HERE.

Image #1: http://www.wikihow.com/

Image #2: http://vodkabularies.com/long/long-hug.html

Understanding Empathy

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Finding yourself stuck in a cycle of negativity, or similar arguments with someone you love?

Our relationships can suffer because we minimize one anothers feelings.  Even if doing so was not our intention.  Many of us lack the ability to see another persons perspective.  Often times we are too focused on our own feelings and experiences, that we completely miss the mark.  We miss opportunities to connect with others, because we are being “selfish”, or at least coming across as such.

More and more, I’m noticing that much of what we communicate tends to get lost in translation.  We attack one another simply because we believe we were wronged in some way.  The worst part is that when these messages are misunderstood, many of us fail to gain clarification on the intended message.  As a result, maybe you spend the next day replaying that conversation in your head.  Man, have I been there one too many times! I admit that I have let my imagination run wild, without taking a moment to calm those nasty convos in my head.

Then, when I am able to confront the “issue”, I often learn that I was wrong.  So, realistically I’ve spent an unimaginable amount of time dwelling over things that could have been cleared up if I was able to understand the other’s interpretation without having my feelings block my judgement.

Psychotherapist Cindy Sigal, AMFT (Relationshipshttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/06/08/the-power-of-empathy-in-romantic-relationships-how-to-enhance-it/) has a wonderful perspective on how to improve empathy in our relationships.

What is EMPATHY?

Cindy discussed three different types: Cognitive (we don’t lose sight of our feelings).  Here we are able to recognize others feelings without experiencing these same feelings ourselves.

Emotional (sharing feelings with your partner or others). If your hurting, I’m hurting. If you’re angry, I’m angry too.

Compassionate ( a whole person response (changing our own behavior).  With this type, we realize what our partner may be experiencing, and actively alter our behavior to increase positive feelings.  For example, you may know that today wasn’t a good day for the other person.  Instead of adding onto their current stress load, you do something different.  You may say kind words, or pick up their favorite snack.

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In addition to understanding the different types of empathy, it will also be helpful to identifying the Road Blocks from experiencing empathy.

-Getting sucked into our own perspectives (how we are feeling vs our partner): From my experiences with others including what I’ve been through personally, is that many disputes/disagreements occur when you feel the other person isn’t listening, or feel as though they do not care.  Many of us become stuck with defending ourselves when communicating, because for some reason we feel attacked.  What can possibly be resolved if both of you aren’t even attempting to understand the others perspective?  You’d don’t have to agree with them, but this will help you grain clarity.  I’m definitely still a work in progress!

-Focusing on negatives: Can you imagine a lifetime full of complaints, with no motivation to make any positive changes? #exhausting. We all have our days of picking out the “wrongs”, but what about trying to clear a tiny circle off of that filthy mirror from time to time.  This will definitely keep your relationships “stuck” in the helpless zone. Try finding at least one positive for every 3 negatives.  This may be challenging if your thinking has already been shaped by constant negative messages, but your situation is not hopeless. Train yourself to think differently…it’s never too late to learn something new. 🙂

-Treat ourselves how we would treat others: I admit that am not the best example of this.  I allow others the ability to make mistakes, and offer them my best advice and encouraging words.  But, I don’t always allow myself these same luxuries.  Yes, I want to push myself, and learn from past experiences.  How will this be possible if I won’t even give myself the opportunity to reflect on these roadblocks?

I hope that today is a wonderful day for everyone, and we all are able to improve our Empathy!

What contributes to your overall satisfaction in your romantic relationships ( past, present, or future)?

-XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo #1:http://www.canstockphoto.com/

Photo #2: http://www.lifetimeloveaffair.com/

Building Relationships//Interviews

Still searching for as much feedback as possible, on ways that women can improve their relationships with one another, socialize and network! Don’t be shy…let’s get creative I’ll share the results soon enough. Thanks for your support!

Be Free 2 Love

After speaking to those close to me, I believe that we have an idea of how to begin putting an end to this madness (see previous two posts on Woman 2 Women).  Think about this…what have women been known for doing to just to mix and mingle with other women?  Where can women go where they can be free to meet other like-minded individuals where the focus is not on family?  Men have sports that bring them together (not to say that women are excluded from this).  But, what can women do together that will help close this gap?

Over the next few weeks, I will reach out to others via this blog, randomly out in the community, as well as friends and family to begin figuring out a solution to this dilemma (yes, it’s that important).  I love research, and I am excited to see what I am able to…

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1 Event That Will Help You Expand Your Readership: Meet and Greet

Absolutely love your idea of meeting new bloggers! Thanks 🙂
Reblogged this on (https://freebryd.wordpress.com/)

Dream Big, Dream Often

imagesWhat day is it??!!  Meet and Greet Day!

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!  So don’t be selfish, hit the reblog button.
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags (i.e. reblogging, reblog, meet n greet, link party, etc.), it helps, trust me on this one.
  4. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new bloggers to follow.  This helps also, trust me.
  5. And if you leave a link and don’t follow me, how about ya show ole Danny some love?

Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and meet n greet your butts off!

The Social Media post will publish…

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Inspiration//Make Your Dreams Become Your Reality

couch-potato-workout

Have you ever felt extremely unproductive before?  Well, that has been the story of my life for the past few days! I am so guilty lol.  I’ve been binge watching a series on Hulu (Devious Maids)! So much drama…but it’s also extremely addicting! This week, I’ve failed to go to the gym or update my blog as often as I’d planned. :-/ Needless to say, I couldn’t help but to realize how easy it is to fall into a comfortable routine, and forget about achieving your dreams.

In the past, I have always dreamed about doing more with my life, but never felt any real sense of urgency when considering the response to this question.  I had absolutely no clue how to begin preparing a life for myself, where my overall level of happiness scored close to a 10 on a Likert scale.

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Should I go back to school? What should I major in? Where will I find a job? So many questions to consider!

Last month I wrote a post specifically to address these concerns (https://freebryd.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/what-i-want-to-do-with-the-rest-of-my-life/).  I became so motivated to take off running with enough energy to run a marathon! I’m still very excited to continue pursuing what I love most: writing, and helping others build healthy relationships.

What I am saying is that I don’t want to lose sight on what I’ve promised myself I’d accomplish within these next few years.  I do worry that I’ll become sucked into the swift current of life, without giving my all to what I’ve planned for myself.  But, I can’t let that happen.  I need to remind myself daily what it is that I want out of life.

At this time, I do not have a vision board that I can refer to like I’ve heard others speak about.  Now I can honestly say that I understand the importance of creating something to this effect.  During these past few days, it was so easy for me to say, “I’ll do it later”, because I did not have anything in place to continuously remind me of my aspirations.  I absolutely need this!

I have a really long-winded way of saying don’t give up.  Don’t give up on your plans, simply because “something comes up”.  It is alright to take a break…but try your best not to lose sight on the bigger picture. Luckily, I have family and friends in my corner who are able to snap me back into reality. But honestly, this is not their responsibility.

I have to want more for myself, and I do.  I just need to find ways to encourage me not to lose sight of this!

Here is what I plan to do:

  • Create a detailed vision board (so I have no questions about what I want my future to look like)
  • Speak about my goals to others (the more I discuss this, the more I will speak this into existence)
  • Make a list of small steps that will help me reach my goals (less overwhelming for me to target smaller tasks first)
  • Listen to the advice I would give to others (not to be so hard on myself…I will make mistakes and have days where I want to give up–>but get back on track asap)

These little gems will help to keep me on the right path. Take a break, go on vacation, binge watch your favorite tv series.  We all need days such as these to help us recharge.  Just remember that sooner or later you’ll need to get back to what you’ve started.

What do you use to help motivate and remind you to continue pursuing your dreams?

~XOXO

FreeBryd

Photo Credit #1: http://jaytheanalyst.com/

Photo Credit#2: http://weightlossandtraining.com/

Photo Credit #3: http://www.in-pharmatechnologist.com/

Woman 2 Women//Building Confidence

womenI am truly grateful for each of you for sharing your thoughts regarding the previous post on Woman 2 Women!  I love that so many of you share my concern with helping women build genuine, long-term friendships.  I was speaking about this with my sister as well, and she has brought something else to my attention.  We both agree that women may have been set up from the beginning!! Ridiculous right?

This may be a stretch, but think about something as simple as entering the women’s restroom…what have you noticed?  There are stalls that separate us from one another, in comparison to men’s restrooms where they normally share an open space when handling their business (sorry if I’ve already grossed some of you out).  I’m not saying that I want to do away with stalls at this point (because I’ve grown accustomed to expecting this), but I am just raising some questions about the messages that we have been receiving and sending.

In my previous post on Woman 2 Women, many commented on the fact that many women may lack confidence in themselves, therefore prompting even more insecurities.  These insecurities would most likely prevent any individual from socializing and taking the opportunity to build relationships with others. Personally speaking, if I do not feel secure in my finances, appearances, work status, or relationships, then this will pose as a major barrier to communicating honestly and openly with others.  I would spend my time focusing on whether or not the individual was criticizing me for one of the above mentioned reasons, rather than sharing this moment with them/doing more to get to know them.

Why was I ashamed?  Why was I embarrassed of having others inquire about my the status of my relationship, my finances, or comment on my weight?

What came to mind is that I lacked confidence in myself.  So, I wanted to dedicate this post to helping others find their strengths, improving their self-confidence…and running with it!

Here is what has worked for me with gaining confidence:

  • I stopped believing that I needed to compete with others
  • Wrote down my expectations and goals for myself
  • Figured out a step by step plan on how to meet my goals and expectations
  • Stopped complaining (well I cut down on this..lol) about not being where I thought I needed to be with my goals
  • Encouraging myself daily with positive messages
  • Started enjoying my experiences and being truly grateful for my family, friends, career, and health

Responses from others on how to build confidence:
1) Through prayer

2) Figuring out what you do best

3) Finding out what makes you different from anyone else, and embracing these differences.

I had every intention of linking peer-reviewed articles to this post on how to build confidence in women, but I’m having a difficult time discovering articles that don’t focus on women competing with men in the workforce!  Don’t get me wrong. There are tons of advice columns, blogs, and inspirational quotes on pinterest that discuss ways we can build confidence. But, I am also looking for research based studies that offer more insight into how to help others seriously facing challenges in this area address this issue.

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How do you gain confidence? Was this something that happened relatively quickly, or did you develop this confidence over time?

~XOXO
FreeBryd

Photo #1 credit: http://boujibuzz.com/category/in-the-news/

Photo #2 credit: http://www.quotesforthemind.com/

Woman 2 Women//Where is the Love?

Let’s have an honest discussion friends!
I’ve been spending so much time trying to better myself, by learning to forgive, reminding myself to think more positively, etc.  With that being said, can you tell that I spend a great deal of time in my feelings lol?  A serious question parked itself in my overactive brain, until I decided to do more research into this.  I was able to reach out to a few of my followers, to gain their perspectives on why they believe many women are unable to from long-term and meaningful relationships with one another.
Where does this come from? Why?

I have always played around with this topic individually up until now.  I only brought up this sensitive topic, based solely from my recent encounters with other women.

Like I mentioned before, I followed up with my hypothesis by reaching out to other women.  I would love to have additional perspectives from men as well.  So, don’t be shy with sharing your thoughts on this discussion. Today, I have included two interviews with this blog post.  Here are the results.


Response from Tiffany: a 20 something year old female, eager to share her thoughts! 
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Do you think that women experience difficulty with supporting/having positive thoughts of one another? 

I have been fortunate enough to have limited experiences with unsupportive women.  However, I do feel that this does exist as I have had a few run-ins where either women or myself were catty to one another for some reason or another.  I think it’s hard for some women to see other women succeed, especially when they feel that they are equally as deserving (if not more) of that same success or perceived happiness.

What do you think is the main reason why many women have been unable to form genuine and long-term relationships with one another? 

 I call it the “Mean Girl” syndrome and I believe it’s caused by immaturity and insecurity. In general, I feel that insecure people (not just women) are intimidated by other people who may have things that they lack.  In some cases, it’s hard for women to establish and maintain genuine relationships because of these negative personal issues they may be dealing with.  I also think the media has played into this woman vs. woman war.  Think about it, there are about 10 – 15 well-known reality shows that star and cater to our demographic (young women ages 18-40).

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How many of these are positive reinforcements of women empowerment? While some shows have glimpses of women supporting each other, the overall message is that women are against each other, and not able to maintain stable and positive friendships with other women. What you consume is what you eventually project.  If all you see every day is women fighting women, women ending friendships and being catty and petty, it’s only a matter of time before you start to take on that mindset whether you realize it or not.

bravo-renews-housewives-o-c-and-othersDo you think that you have trouble with being supportive/being non-judgmental most of the time to other women? 

To be honest, I don’t think I have an issue with being supportive of anyone, especially women.  I’m completely about Girl Power, I LOVE seeing women uplifting and inspiring other women.  There is so much for all of us to learn from one another so it’s saddening when we do the opposite. Now, on the flip side, I feel like I am quick to give a side eye and I know I am judgmental even though I try not to be.  It’s unfair, but it is something that I understand is a human trait.

What would be your advice to other women to help address this issue?

I think that understanding ourselves and exploring our own insecurities are the first steps to addressing this issue. No one is perfect, and the more we realize this within ourselves, I feel we can be less judgmental. It also helps us to accept one another for who we are.  This will in turn help us to nurture positive friendships and we can truly be supportive.

Response from Ms. Anonymous: a 30 something year old female, who agrees this is a problem! 

Do you think that women experience difficulty with supporting/having many positive thoughts of one another? 

I guess it depends on the relationship. I wouldn’t just support a random stranger. If I felt some kind of connection to the individual, then yes I would support. But not just a random stranger.

What do you think is the main reason why many women have been unable to form genuine and long-term relationships with one another? 


I do believe this is a problem for women. Women are in constant, subconscious competition with one another (financial, romantic, beauty, etc). Especially if there’s a differences in classes or social status.   I think a woman is more likely to “hate on” another woman if she feels less than. “She thinks she’s cute” comes to mind. I face this problem at work. I’m a similar age to those I work with. Most of the women don’t like me! They feel that I think I’m better than them. But they do not respond to men in the same way.

Do you think that you have trouble with being supportive/being non-judgmental most of the time to other women?

As far as friendships, I think it’s hard because….um….it may be hard to find women who are the “same” or similar lifestyles/interests. There’s a formula to friendship that has to be just right in order for friendships between women to be successful. Just being introspective, all of my friends are either childhood friends or other career driven women. I tend to prefer my career driven friends over my childhood ones. One friend I’ve known for many years.  When she had kids and I didn’t we drifted apart. We didn’t have similar interests and we couldn’t connect like we used to. I have another friend who is slightly older with kids. We were friends before I had any children, and hung out when she had free time. We connected on a professional level. And now I have kids and we connect on that too.  Another friend of mine is also slightly older with a kid. Not career driven. Different interests than me. I tried and couldn’t maintain a successful friendship. So yeah, the formula has to be just right in order for friendships to work…for me anyways.

What do you think is the main reason why many women have been unable to form genuine and long-term relationships with one another? 

For me it was easier to supper once I became secure with who I am. I know who I am and what I want out of life. So it’s easier for me to support other women…as long as they aren’t trying to knock me off my path. I kind of see things differently now. I see that all women are just trying to do the best they can for themselves and/or family. I guess it comes with confidence. Other than my tummy (ugh) and natural hair edges, this is the most genuinely confident I’ve ever been. So I don’t see other women as a threat.

*End of Interviews*

My goal is to promote “girl power” as Tiffany suggested earlier.  I first have to believe things can get better, so I will.  I’ve had so many great experiences with getting to really know, love and value each of my friendships with other women. Those who I’ve known since playing house in elementary school, my siblings, my girls who first introduced me to club hopping, my goons who I’ve met in grad school, to those I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with in my adult life. I appreciate all of you! I realize that your circle becomes smaller as time goes on, and life takes you in unexpected directions.  I just wish that we were still able to remain open to meeting new people, without the pressure of believing that they won’t like you anyway, so don’t even bother.  Ok..this may be extreme, but sometimes I feel this way.  I can’t force someone to get to know me, but a girl can hope for a better tomorrow, and hope for change.

How many others are out there who share these views?  I’m also quick to place judgment onto others.  I have feared that my judgments have prevented me from getting to know some pretty amazing women. What am I doing to give off the vibe that I’m unapproachable?  Did I look at someone wrong?  Where is the Love?
Let me know what some of your experiences have been!
~XOXO
FreeBryd
A look at some of my lovelies ❤
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