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Make Time For Happiness

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” ~Michelangelo

What do you think it will take for you to make those long-term changes that will immediately benefit your happiness?

I know each of us all want different things.  Many of us spend a lifetime just dreaming about how life could be different. How your job could be better. How you wish that your significant relationships would improve.  But, time continues to go by without us making any changes whatsoever.  Or maybe we don’t take a big enough risk, and we aim too low when attempting to satisfy our own happiness?

I don’t want to spend my life preparing to be genuinely happy, but never fully resting there comfortably.

The reality is that many of us do spend the majority of our lives planning and brainstorming how to make significant changes. But, we don’t always remain consistent with pursuing the steps to get there. Personally, I’m always thinking, reading, praying, and speaking with others, to help move me along in this area. I don’t like feeling stuck, and I definitely don’t want to feel like I’m not doing what’s necessary to live how I’d like to see myself within the next few years. I want to look back and feel confident in my efforts.

I’ve been hesitant about taking risks before. I will admit that I’ve let the fear of the unknown keep me wondering about the possibilities.

I’ve questioned myself plenty of times. I’ve realized that I can’t keep putting things off.  I have so many goals that I’d like to accomplish within the next few years.  So, I’m giving myself a timeline, with deadlines on when this will happen.  To start moving forward with my own plans, I am signing up for a local adult entrepreneur workshop. I’m exicted for this workshop for many reasons.  But, mainly because I am putting forth more effort to be genuinely happy, doing what I’d like to do.  Getting one step closer to my long-term plans!

What do you think it will take for you to make those long-term changes that will immediately benefit your happiness?

XOXO FreeBryd

(http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/michelange108779.html#x0jSdMhmlIAW7p2Q.99)

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New Perspective

Well Hello There!!

My apologies for being MIA this past month in regards to my online community.  I’m more upset with myself for allowing my goals to take a back seat to everyday life.  The crazy thing about all of this is that I would think about what I needed to get done, but still did not put in the work to get closer to what I would like to do.  Sounds crazy right?! I know that some of us may experience similar feelings when “stuck”.  I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t healthy.  I was cranky in other areas of my life, not just in my career goals.  I pretty much stopped doing about 85% of the things that I have been doing for as long as I can remember. motivation6

What bothers me most is that instead of making small changes, I just let almost everything go without a plan b.  I find myself repeating these patterns every few months or so, and it has been frustrating to pick back up again.  I don’t want to continue initiating something, and then not falling through with them.  Working out, blogging, and beginning the second stages of my long-term career prep, are some examples of things that I have not been committed to completely.

I believe that my biggest downfall was that I sometimes become frustrated with the process of reaching my goals, without being patient and understanding that I need to build a lasting foundation.  Honestly, I know that I’m going to have to remind myself of this from time to time, to recharge my own battery.

My only other alternative would be to complain about the small amount of time that I have to get things done, and then never get them done!

I want to put more action behind my motivation.  I’ve even started making a new vision board for the New Year. 🙂

I’ve heard that to establish a routine you need to repeat a behavior for about 30 days consistently.  Once I’ve established my routine, it became second nature for me to keep it up.  But once I’ve allowed two weeks to pass by, so did my motivation.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Granted, I have less “free” time than I’ve had in months.  But, I still have to set aside this time, if I truly want to see my goals come into fruition.  No excuses, because I’ve been spending more time in front of the TV!! I’ve decided to put in as much prep work for my next steps in my long-term plan.

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What has helped to re-engage you with your goals, and to motivate you again?

Peace and Love to all of you! Cheers to another year of getting things done.

 

XOXO FreeBryd

 

Images:

http://ragtagriot.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/topic/set-goals

What are you Thankful For?

As I sit here on this joyous day before the Holiday, I find myself counting my blessings.

I am truly grateful that this year has been more “peaceful” for me.  What I mean is that I do feel as though I have made significant improvements in my overall well-being.  I think about the past when most days was a struggle.  There were times when I was unhappy or finding something to become easily upset about.  Now, I have been actively trying to just “relax”.  I know that I am naturally a high strung person…or at least I have been in the past.  Let me just tell you that this can be extremely time consuming, and simply not healthy.

Even in preparation for this upcoming Holiday, I was stressing about everything that I needed to do (laundry, pack, buy groceries for my contribution dish for Thanksgiving dinner).  I was overwhelmed, and even considered rescheduling a date night that was planned a few days prior.  But, thankfully I didn’t.

I told myself that I needed to keep prioritizing things that matter most.  My relationship gracefully making that list of course.  I would get to the other tasks that I needed to take care of.  I needed that break from my jam-packed to do list.  I felt refreshed! I needed to be selfish, and I was able to be just that.

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So, my hope for all of you celebrating Thanksgiving, is that you take the time to enjoy those moments with your loved ones.

Last time this year, I was busy making sure everyone else had a great time, before I could “take a breather”.  I’m sure no one even noticed how on the go I kept myself those few days.  Before you know it, you’ll be back to work, and maybe you even missed out on some family time.

Don’t let this happen to you!

~FreeBryd

 

 

Images:http://mattshackelford.com/; http://teresacollins.typepad.com/

How REAL Are Your Relationships?

Hey All!

Let me just start by saying…I’ve missed the blog world. I won’t make excuses for being away for some time now. I wasn’t the greatest at balancing my new work schedule with everything else I had going on. I have some draft posts just waiting to be acknowledged, but haven’t been keeping up with writing. I’m really excited to shake the dust off.

Secondly, this topic was inspired by my home skillet Chanelle. She’s one of my besties, whose been in my life for over 10 years now. 🙂 She’s one of the same friends who I mentioned starting the GroupMe app with…where we can keep track of one another’s progress towards our fitness goals. That has picked up lately as well. I was talked into completing a 21 day clean eating challenge. No worries, because it will be ending right in time for Thanksgiving lol.

Any who, as my friends and I were chatting, Chanelle asked my friend Shana and I a series of questions. She wanted to know how we perceived her.  Specifically, what were some things we may have noticed that she may not be aware of.

Talk about being caught off guard haha. I was happy that she felt that she could easily come to me with such a loaded question. Providing feedback to her wasn’t extremely challenging, because we have a healthy relationship.

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How well do others know you? Are others comfortable enough to share openly and genuinely with you? 

This may be a no brainer for some, and can be extremely important in assessing the quality of your relationships with others.

I was asked to share some of my personal thoughts about her as a person. This is something that I honestly don’t find myself doing enough of. Not that I have a laundry list of negative things about anyone that I keep to myself. But, I’ve realized that I probably don’t share those “personal” thoughts and feelings as often as I’d like to.

For me, I find having honest conversations about how I perceive the other person as a benefit. I’m honored that my perspective can mean so much to so many people. I hope that others feel the same way when considering me. I also understand how difficult having tough conversations with others can be.  I still cringe a bit when having to “confront” the elephant in the room.  But, how else can we move forward? What helps for me is to just come right out and say it.  The more I wait and analyze exactly how I want to word things, the more nervous and uncomfortable I become.

I’ve also realized that I put so much thought into many of these conversations, when the other person doesn’t feel the same sense of awkwardness that I’ve been experiencing.  It was mostly in my head…!

I truly appreciate the relationships I share with so many wonderful people.  We inspire and challenge one another daily.  I prefer to keep it real, and not just dance around the difficult issues.

If you don’t feel completely comfortable with sharing honestly with friends and family, then what is getting in the way of knocking down these barriers?

~FreeBryd

Images: http://arts.mq.edu.au/; http://blogs.baruch.cuny.edu/

Law of Attraction

So, I have so much to be thankful for…I’m all smiles!

In the past, I have set goals for myself regarding my career, family, etc. I specifically remember my boyfriend and I having a conversation on this very topic.  He challenged me to write down what I was looking for career wise.  I knew what I wanted, and made the choice that day to create my mini version of a vision board.

My career goals were:

  • I would like to continue helping families in the mental health field (improve, and strengthen their relationships with others)
  • Advance in my career (first step: become a supervisor).
  • Balance my work week with being in the office as well as meet with families within the community (So, I get to plan and organize, as well as engage with others)
  • Have a flexible work schedule
  • Not work any weekends or Holidays

I feel extremely blessed to say with confidence that I have now been working at a new position, that meets every one of my goals that I’ve set for myself career wise at this time.  I didn’t believe that I would find such a position within the first year of writing these goals down initially.  The most exciting thing about this is the fact that I believed in myself.  I knew what I wanted, and went after this! I just didn’t know that I was doing everything I needed to do to help me reach my goals. Now I have that confirmation!

One of my besties, Chanelle, put me onto this Youtube video (Mastering The Art of Attraction).  This video discussed how we each have the ability to reach our full potential. But, doing so all starts with how you are talking to yourself.  You will attract like-minded people, you will attract the lack of money that you continue to complain about, and you will attract that job that you believe in your heart is right for you.

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Ultimately, you have a choice in how you will respond to what’s happened to you.

This isn’t a secret.  However, truly give this some thought…

My advice, is not to settle for what you do not  believe in.  If you’re unhappy, then change your thinking. Maybe even consider changing the people you’ve chosen to associate with.  I know everyone in my corner speaks positively as often as possible.  They push me to go after the more difficult decisions, and challenge me to obtain greater for myself.  Also, write down what it is that you want for yourself.  The more you do this, and communite these goals to others, the more you will continue to hold yourself accountable to them as well.

It feels incredible to get what you want!

What goals have you set for yourself, and what are you doing to make sure you reach them?

Much Love,

~FreeBryd

Nominations//2 For 1 Special 

Hey My Online Community!

So, I’ve been a total flop these past two weeks since returning from my getaway in Mexico. I feel like so much has changed since that time, and I’m waiting to get things back on track.

I was in the process of transitioning into a new position, which I start this week, and planning 3 events (birthday parties, and a potluck with some great friends. 🙂 Needless to say, I have been on the go ever since touching back down in the U.S. So, my apologies for not being as active via the blog world as I’d like to be.

I wanted to wait until I felt “fresh” enough to begin posting regularly again, before jumping right in when my head wasn’t completely in the game. Now, I feel like I can catch back up with life again.

I enjoy blogging so much, and I really enjoy meeting such incredible people. With that being said, I was recently nominated for two more awards…woooohooo! I have arrived haha!

I was nominated by itsgoodtobecrazysometimes, for the Dragon Loyalty Award.

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From her site, I’ve learned that this award is a way to give thanks for being a loyal fan/commenter. Thank you for the recognition! I always try my best to keep up with the blogs that I follow, for several reasons. I would want others to take the time out to read my posts, I really do look forward to growing my online community, and I always come across some great info provided to me by other bloggers. You guys are all awesome!

The rules for the Dragon Loyalty Award:

  • Give thanks to the blogger for the nomination (shout out via pingback or posting a link to their site)
  • Write about 5 facts about myself
  • Spread love by nominating additional bloggers

Alright, here goes! 5 facts about me:

  • My favorite snack is popcorn and Swiss rolls! I’d eat this everyday if I wouldn’t gain any weight lol.
  • I enjoy planning events for other people. I’d love to this on the side. I love figuring out all of the little details, and making people happy.
  • I have poor impulse control when it comes to shopping. It’ll take me hours to get “one thing”, because I’m too busy spending more money than I should.
  • My favorite channel is Food Network. I’d like to believe that I was a chef in my former life. I could binge watch this channel all day! I also enjoy watching Cake Boss. The designs on the cakes are so cool!
  • I’ve cut out about 90% of sugary drinks. I am trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. Drinking water most of the time has been one of the better decisions that I’ve made. 🙂

I was also nominated again for the Liebster award by Nena at YOUnfolded.

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Click HERE to find my response to this award in a previous post. This award is to show appreciation for bloggers for their continuous inspiration to others.

Nena, put a twist on this award in regards to her questions.  She asked what my advice would be for new bloggers.  I would remind all of you (new, or have been here for a while) to always take time to care for yourself. I’ve seen many posts about blogger burnout, myself included in this toll as well. Planning my posts in advance (having a calendar set up, as well as back up posts for those struggle days), have been extremely helpful!

If you’re feeling like you still can’t find your creative side, then I would encourage you to take a break. I don’t believe blogging should be hard work. This should be fun, and a way to connect with others. So, don’t beat yourself up if today isn’t a great day. Try again once you take some time off. We’ll still be here :-).

I’ve decided to nominate a few of my newest blogger buddies for the Liebster Award.

Nominees:

  1. Claire @ Wanderings of Claire
  2. Cavelle @ Mental Break In Progress
  3. Aphropuphs @ The Hair Garden
  4. MRCKFLO

If you have already received the Liebster award, Pay It Forward (as Nena would say), and please pass it along to another blogger. 🙂

Now, off to prepping for my Potluck that will take place within the next few hours.

~FreeBryd

Image #1: http://www.venturingbsa.com/

Upgrading Your Support System

What are some of the ways that you take care of yourself?

I spend a lot of time thinking of new ways that I can improve my overall well-being. I read new books (mystery and suspense appear to be my new thing), blog, listen to comforting music, and planning mini getaways.

Out of all of these options, nothing is more important to me than spending time with the significant people in my life.

I absolutely love being with my support team!

IMG_3930They give me life, and they help me to recharge. I’ve realized that being around others helps me to relax.  If I’m having a not so great day, I actually sit and reflect on how to make things better, weigh the outcomes of any pros and cons of my day.

But!

What works best for me is being able to communicate with others. Not just anyone, but someone who I can honestly trust with my feelings. Someone whose perspective means the world to me.  I enjoy being able to bounce ideas off of, and just vent to these listening ears.

I’m fortunate enough to have a huge group of people who will always have my best interests in mind. Being around these individuals helps me to reduce any unnecessary stress, make me laugh, and help to get my mind off of the latest “issue”.

Those of you who may be struggling to find energy, find yourself becoming more irritable and unhappy, and have tried different ways to recharge, with very little success…try reaching out to friends and family. They may not even know how much of a positive influence they can be in your life. You may not even know how helpful these individuals can be.

How do you make new friends?

While away in Mexico for my recent vacation, I pushed myself to meet new people. Instead of waiting for someone to “notice” me, I initiated many of the conversations with others. For the 7 days that I was in Mexico, I figured that I’d make the most of the trip, since this was basically my home away from home. I participated in activities that I would normally shy away from (pool volleyball is an example of this). The sound of the activity didn’t necessarily appeal to me, but I gave it a try anyway.

These structured activities were a great way for many new people to meet. My team obviously had a shared goal in mind, and we definitely worked hard with achieving this by any means (quite successfully might I add).  As I discussed in my previous post (My Time Away In Mexico), I was able to gain new friendships. I plan on keeping in contact with each of them!

You can also try to:

  • Join a gym to find a group of people who share similar interests (different classes: zumba, cycling, etc).
  • Have a potluck at your house (I plan on doing so this week). Each person can bring a friend in addition to a dish.
  • Spend time with co-workers (get to know them outside of work? Maybe you’ll have more in common than you think).

Don’t have any close family or friends whom you would consider confiding in? Take it outside then, and meet some new faces!! Many of us enjoy blogging, and even share some of the most intimate details of our lives with others within the blogging community. I think this is great! I absolutely love blogging, and look forward to continue meeting such wonderful people.

Group of young friends chatting outside

How about using that same confidence used via Internet connection, and use that in our everyday lives as well??

Share a little bit more with others, be open to trying new things, and starting conversations with a new face. I’m hoping that you’ll be able to make some healthy, long-lasting relationships with new people. Your health just might depend on it!

But first, you’ll have to be willing to put in the work. I personally don’t thrive on relationships where I don’t feel as though I’m benefiting from. I want to share details about my life, and want others to be willing to do the same. So, be sure to have an idea in mind about what type of relationships you’d like to have with others.

How do you make new friends? What are you looking for in a friend?

~FreeBryd

Image #1: http://kushsrivastava.com/

Image #2: http://www.collegeadmissionsbible.com/

I’M Back!!!

Hey Everyone,

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I’m officially back! Thank you all for the well wishes, and positive vibes! My time away was amazing, and I can’t wait to share with all of you!

I’ll update you all tomorrow. I got back late last night, so I need to get back into the swing of things with work first.

XOXOXO

~FreeBryd

Image#1: http://themuseinwoodenshoes.com/
Image #2: http://www.planetminecraft.com/

Be Back Soon…

Hey Everyone,

I’ll be going off the grid for the next week, due to some well-deserved travel.  I am taking a week off!! I’ll be doing nothing but relaxing…and eating of course!

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I hope that all of you have a wonderful week, and continue to bask in your blogging bliss.

~FreeBryd

Image#1: http://www.au-au-au.com/

Image #2: http://www.livescience.com/

Qualities In A Mate//Fix My Relationship

Morning Cyber Family!

How often do you consider your values/standards when considering a mate?  Is this a no negation type of situation?

Sometimes we can’t help who we’ve grown attached to. Maybe this person completely took us by surprise, and now we are left with a list of qualities that we believed we needed in a potential mate, but isn’t as necessary as once before.

I strongly believe that it’s important to have an idea of what you’re looking for. You need to be comfortable enough to know what you’d be willing to put up with. Even if you’re new to dating and haven’t figured out the specifics yet…you can eventually decide then what comprises you are willing to make for love.

I normally live a pretty structured life. What I mean is that I have an idea of how my weeks will look like. This helps keeps me grounded. Relationship wise, I could not be happier. The both of us had general standards that we used to make the decision of whether or not we’d even be interested in one another long-term. Initially, we had similar plans for the future, enjoyed one another’s company, and were and continue to provide support, love, and laughter for one another.

In honor of the Fix My Relationship series, a few people were able to provide me with some feedback on what it is they look for when considering entering into a new relationship.

Here’s the results from the mini interview I completed with those willing bodies. 

In my mate, I am looking for someone who is…

*God fearing, secure (don’t want nobody that’s not confident in themselves), comfortable to be around, funny, intelligent, goal oriented, and attractive.

*1.Intelligent (and by that I really mean insightful ) 2. Beautiful 3. Moral 4. Loves black people and culture. The 4th things is important because I may make personal/ career sacrifices to help black folk, and I would need a significant other who was cool with that.

*God-fearing, family oriented, has good morals, a job/career (LoL), has goals set for himself, someone who has a sense of humor! Someone who is spontaneous! Someone that I know can help me grow as a Christian! Someone I can talk to and confide in…The list can go on and on lol!!

*I would like for my mate to be supportive, trusting and family oriented with an ambitious never settle attitude. I’m a guy who wants to build an empire.

*Believes in God, well-mannered, smart and intelligent, has goals, respectful, humorous, handsome, well-kept (dresses nice).

*Takes a while to figure out the right formula. After a lot of trial and error…I think I have a pretty good list. I look for someone who on the same page with education and career goals. I look for someone who is intrinsically motivated to succeed not just get by. I look for someone who treats me well and makes me laugh. Someone who I can bet self around. If I’m not comfortable enough for you to see me without mascara and wearing a headcap…you’re not the one lol! I’m looking for someone who I can have a conversation with, not just a physical relationship. Someone who has similar interests and family desires. Preferably someone who is physically fit. Race doesn’t matter.

How likely are you to stand by your ideal qualities in a mate?

Did your current mate match your pre-determined list?

~FreeBryd

Image: http://www.wikihow.com/