How REAL Are Your Relationships?

/ Sharece Campbell, LMFT I Postpartum Doula

Hey All!

Let me just start by saying…I’ve missed the blog world. I won’t make excuses for being away for some time now. I wasn’t the greatest at balancing my new work schedule with everything else I had going on. I have some draft posts just waiting to be acknowledged, but haven’t been keeping up with writing. I’m really excited to shake the dust off.

Secondly, this topic was inspired by my home skillet Chanelle. She’s one of my besties, whose been in my life for over 10 years now. 🙂 She’s one of the same friends who I mentioned starting the GroupMe app with…where we can keep track of one another’s progress towards our fitness goals. That has picked up lately as well. I was talked into completing a 21 day clean eating challenge. No worries, because it will be ending right in time for Thanksgiving lol.

Any who, as my friends and I were chatting, Chanelle asked my friend Shana and I a series of questions. She wanted to know how we perceived her.  Specifically, what were some things we may have noticed that she may not be aware of.

Talk about being caught off guard haha. I was happy that she felt that she could easily come to me with such a loaded question. Providing feedback to her wasn’t extremely challenging, because we have a healthy relationship.

Honesty_survey_image

How well do others know you? Are others comfortable enough to share openly and genuinely with you? 

This may be a no brainer for some, and can be extremely important in assessing the quality of your relationships with others.

I was asked to share some of my personal thoughts about her as a person. This is something that I honestly don’t find myself doing enough of. Not that I have a laundry list of negative things about anyone that I keep to myself. But, I’ve realized that I probably don’t share those “personal” thoughts and feelings as often as I’d like to.

For me, I find having honest conversations about how I perceive the other person as a benefit. I’m honored that my perspective can mean so much to so many people. I hope that others feel the same way when considering me. I also understand how difficult having tough conversations with others can be.  I still cringe a bit when having to “confront” the elephant in the room.  But, how else can we move forward? What helps for me is to just come right out and say it.  The more I wait and analyze exactly how I want to word things, the more nervous and uncomfortable I become.

I’ve also realized that I put so much thought into many of these conversations, when the other person doesn’t feel the same sense of awkwardness that I’ve been experiencing.  It was mostly in my head…!

I truly appreciate the relationships I share with so many wonderful people.  We inspire and challenge one another daily.  I prefer to keep it real, and not just dance around the difficult issues.

If you don’t feel completely comfortable with sharing honestly with friends and family, then what is getting in the way of knocking down these barriers?

~FreeBryd

Images: http://arts.mq.edu.au/; http://blogs.baruch.cuny.edu/

9 thoughts on “How REAL Are Your Relationships?”

  1. Hey! I missed your posts! 🙂 But totally understand that life gets in the way. 🙂

    I have a pretty open, honest relationship with a lot of my friends and (some) family. Some of my friends are a touch TOO honest, but that’s kind of why I love them 😉

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    • Hey!! I’m glad that you were thinking of me! That makes me smile. I love the brutally honest friends. As long as they aren’t being cruel on purpose lol. You have some pretty awesome people in your life as well. 🙂

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  2. Hi Freebryd, Great to hear from you again. I wondered where you were. I know that being able to honestly give and take opinions is the sign of a mature and balanced personality. Unfortunately, I’m pretty thin-skinned and would probably burst into tears if anybody said anything too honest about me, especially if I thought it were true. Not very mature, I admit. 🙂

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    • Glad to be back! I was a bit lost. I enjoyed my vacation, but it’s been a struggle to get back into the swing of things. Especially with this new position. I went from a scattered work schedule, to pretty much a 9-5. I also think that it’s very mature of you to admit that you’re pretty thin-skinned. 🙂 I’ll keep that in mind when I leave you comments from now on. I’ll go easy with ya!

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  3. They say honesty is the best policy, but I do think you have to know your audience, too. If someone does not appear open to opinions, then sometimes it’s best to not give them. There are exceptions of course because we don’t want to see harm come their way, but knowing who we are talking to can help us deliver the message in a way it will be more readily received.
    It is very wonderful to have friends that you can be open with because you grow as an individual and often build a stronger relationship with those around us:)
    Awesome post!!

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  4. Well said Freebyrd. I am fortunate to have trustworthy friends with whom I freely get honest. On the other handy, I think some people are not so lucky. I’ve heard peopleccomplain about betrayal after getting honest with friends.

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    • Thanks for sharing! That’s awesome that you have some pretty incredible people in your life. It is also unfortunate that sometimes we are punished for being honest! I will still choose honesty all day 🙂

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!